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The wedding was lovely, beautiful, and as opulent as a D’Orsay wedding was expected to be. We ate, we danced, and we drank. Then, when the guests went their several ways, Balor and I retired to the honeymoon suite prepared for us.
Naturally my mother had prepared me for the wedding night, and I had read several instructional books to prepare myself. But a whole library could not have prepared me for Balor.
He’d wanted my last name, at any price. Now that he had it I became a collateral bonus to the deal he had struck, as though a free gift thrown in with his main purchase. That meant I was his to do with as he pleased.
I have tried very hard to wipe that evening from my mind.
It was not as my mother had described, nor any of my sisters, whom I had thought so much less fortunate in their marriages than I. If the wedding ceremony had made me Balor’s property, legally and in the eyes of the church, then that night underlined it. He made sure that I knew my place, as something to be taken and used as he saw fit.
The following morning, we breakfasted alone.
“Where is Derith?” I asked. He hadn’t been much in evidence at the wedding, but given his attitude toward the event, that was unsurprising.
“I sent him away,” replied Balor, briskly. “It’s right for a newly married couple to have some time to themselves.”
I tried not to shudder. “When will he be back?”
Balor shot me a curt glance. “I think a married woman should not ask such questions about her husband’s brother.”
“Sorry.”
“Indeed?” Balor stood up and walked around the table to stand beside me. On his way, he casually took down his riding crop from its hook on the wall. “I run a strict household, Suisse. I expect my orders followed swiftly and to the letter. Furthermore, I expect my wife to comport herself in a fashion proper to a Lady. And I expect her to please in all that she does. This frowning face…” he used the crop to tilt my chin upwards, so I was looking at him, “… I do not like. I will let it pass now because I am a generous man, but if in the future you are disrespectful enough to sit there sour-faced through a meal, then I shall thrash you as I would a servant. Because you are here to serve me. Do we understand one another?”
I nodded in blank terror.
I was not the woman I was yesterday, because yesterday I had been free.
***
The days passed in constant tension. I was petrified of doing something to upset my husband. My master. And he was quick to let me know when something upset him.
But the tension, the fear, and even the sharp pain that followed his displeasure, were as nothing to the grim desolation that settled over me as I realized that this was it. This was my life, and death was the only release.
Occasionally, I daydreamed of escape, but I knew it to be impossible, and the thought of what my dear husband might do to me prevented me from making a move. It seemed as if there was nothing that could save me, until…
“My Lord, your brother has returned.”
Balor looked up at the servant bringing the news. “Has he?”
“Yes, I have.” Derith strode in, not waiting for an invitation. “I grew tired of travel.”
“Did you?” Balor’s menacing stare moved from his brother to me and back again.
“Home is where the heart is,” smiled Derith, adding in a sarcastic tone, “And I see the honeymoon continues.”
Whether Balor suspected that something existed between his brother and me, or if he just wanted to cut me off from all comfort, he now ensured that we had no time alone for the first three days of Derith’s return.
On the fourth day, I was taking a bath when there was a sound at my window, and I almost started out of the copper tub as Derith clambered in.
“Apologies. I was out for my morning stroll and I seem to have gotten lost.” He shrugged awkwardly at my horrified expression. “I thought being funny might make this less hideous an intrusion, but I didn’t know how else to get a moment of your time without my brother. If I have misread the situation and you would rather I leave then…”
Before he could finish the sentence, I was out of the tub, careless of my nakedness, and across the room, hugging him.
“I’m so frightened.”
Derith held me as I shook in his arms.
“You were right,” I continued. “Everything you said—everything you told me… you were right.”
