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Cora gaining the acceptance of Verdian’s inquisitors only after pretending she knew nothing of magic.
Dimetreus’ new council feigning that magic didn’t exist. Fearing her relationship to the Arts. Mistrusting her motives in the tower.
She shook the memories away, reminding herself that this new situation wasn’t like the rest. This was about her and Teryn. Even so, with these wounds still darkening her past—many of which were still fresh—she found herself shrinking deeper and deeper into herself. She wanted to talk to Teryn, but she was still learning how to open up to people, especially to him. This curse was no small matter, nor were the repercussions it could have on their relationship. On her responsibility as potential future queen. She needed time to prepare for that conversation.
“Please come out here and talk to me.”
She shook her head. No. No, she wasn’t ready.
Another look of hurt flashed across his face. “We can sit in silence then. Let me be there for you, whatever is wrong.”
“No, Teryn.” His name on her lips nearly shattered her heart in two. But it was nothing compared to the pain she’d feel if he rejected her upon learning about the curse. Teryn may desire her, but what if he desired furthering his bloodline more? She tried to tell herself such a fear was silly, but it didn’tfeelsilly. It felt crippling. Smothering. Before she’d be ready to tell him the truth, she’d need to prepare herself for possible heartbreak. Fortify the walls she’d so recklessly abandoned, just in case she needed to retreat behind them once more.
She was nowhere near strong enough for that right now.
“I just need one night to be alone,” she said, tone softening.
Teryn’s throat bobbed, expression struck with agony. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“I need you to. Please. Just one night.” She wasn’t sure a single night would be enough to sort through her feelings, but she hoped it would be. She forced a reassuring smile to her lips. “Please.”
Teryn held her gaze for several silent moments. Finally, he gave her a nod and turned away. She watched his back until he was out of sight. Fresh tears trailed down her cheeks.
* * *
It killedTeryn to do as Cora had bid and leave her behind. To think only hours ago she’d requested a kiss that he’d been all too eager to deliver. Now she was asking for space.
Every step that took him farther from the tower room made him question whether he was doing the right thing. He wanted to trust her. Believe in her strength. But seeing her like that, her cheeks glistening with tears, her shoulders hunched with grief…it nearly cleaved his heart in two. He knew she was capable of combating dark energies, of using her magic to accomplish incredible feats.
But what the bloody hell had made her cry?
Rage sparked in his blood, and his fists closed around air. He wished he held his hunting spear right now. If he did, he would chase down the source of Cora’s distress and destroy it.
What if I’m the source?
The question sank his gut, but he had to consider if it was true. Had he pushed her too far? Had she changed her mind about him? Aboutthem? If so, he couldn’t force his presence upon her. The best thing he could do was let her work through it. And if she had changed her mind…
He found himself outside the door to the guest bedroom he’d been given. With a sigh, he pressed his forehead to it.
If she’s changed her mind, I have to respect that.
Telling her about his feelings had already been a risk. He’d known she could have rejected him, and he’d been prepared for that. But to lose her now, lose the small, beautiful thing that had begun to bloom between them, tore him up inside.
Feeling as if his feet were made of lead, he opened his bedroom door and dragged himself inside, stopping only when he reached one of the windows. There was no balcony, no balustrade to lean upon, so the windowsill would have to do. He opened the glass pane, relishing the fresh air pouring in, and gathered lungfuls to counteract the tightening in his chest.
His eyes were unfocused, but not enough to miss the feathered shape darting from the trees outside the castle wall. Berol landed beside Teryn on the windowsill, giving his forearm an affectionate nibble. He reached into his pocket in search of the dried meat he always kept on hand for his falcon, only to realize he wasn’t wearing his traveling vest but an elegant frock coat.
He’d changed his clothing before his audience with King Dimetreus, during which the king had granted him permission to dine privately with Cora instead of attending the meal in the dining hall. After that, he’d changed again, outfitting himself in the finest ensemble he’d brought. He didn’t have the heart to join the main feast now, to sit amongst the king and his council, trying to pretend there wasn’t somewhere else he’d rather be.
He was about to fetch his leather vest from where it was draped at the foot of his bed, when his hand brushed over a lump in his waistcoat. Had he tucked some treats in there after all and simply forgotten? He reached inside the pocket to extract what he expected to be a strip of meat…but came away with an amber crystal.
He blinked at it a few times, confusion blanketing his mind. Why did he have this? Was this…no. It couldn’t be.
Yet the color, shape, and size were hauntingly familiar. There was no denying what this was. The last time he’d seen it, it had been attached to the dagger that had opened his father’s throat.
Wait, that wasn’t true.
The last time he’d seen it had been…
