Page 78 of Finding Zara


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I remembered Lucy’s words.Don’t let him push you away.I straightened my spine, took a deep breath. This was the hardest thing I had ever done, and I was terribly afraid.

“Yes, I did.” I spoke clearly, surprised that my voice didn’t shake. “Matthew, please, stop for a minute and listen to me.” He swung the axe one more time, kicked the log over and stopped, raising his eyes to me again. They were cold now, all signs of emotion gone. Fuck. I gathered all my courage. It’s all or nothing now, I thought. “Yes, I made a terrible mistake. I was stupid, and a coward, and I’m so very sorry. Sorrier than you can ever imagine. I will understand if you can’t forgive me. I know I hurt you a lot and you did nothing to deserve it. I just wanted you to know.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

He blew out a breath. “Look, what do you want, Zara? What are you doing here?” He raised the axe again.

I stepped forward, raising my hand and wrapping it around his forearm, stopping the swing. I put my other hand on his chest, felt the strong beat of his heart. Looking him straight in the eyes, tears welling in my own, I said, “I’m sorry. So sorry you cannot even imagine. And…I love you with all my heart.”

He let his arm fall to his side, dropping the axe on the ground, staying perfectly still, his expression unreadable. I reached my hands up to cup his face. “I love you,” I whispered again. A light flickered in his eyes. I pulled his face closer, pressing my forehead against his. “I…love…you.”

His arms were around me in a flash, pulling me to him in a crushing embrace as he buried his face in my hair. I let out a sob of relief and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I’ll never get sick of hearing you say that.” His voice was thick.

“I’m such an idiot, Matthew, such a coward. I knew I loved you, but I was just too scared to admit it. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re forgiven.” He pulled back to look down at me, his eyes smiling so much joy that my knees went to jelly. I sighed as his lips found mine. “Say it again,” he murmured against my lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Epilogue

ZARA

“Seriously, Matthew, do we have time for this? I’ve only got about twenty minutes to finish the snack platter before we have to leave for your parents’ place.”

“Yes, we have time. Relax. Put down the knife.”

I did as he said, eyeing him skeptically, until he took a long, black piece of cloth from his pocket. He’d been outside for the last hour, doing something on the patio that I wasn’t allowed to see, so he’d done whatever he was doing with the dining room curtains closed.

“Close your eyes.”

“Is this some new blindfold kink I don’t know about yet?” I asked as he put the cloth over my eyes and tied it at the back of my head. “Funny,” he said with a chuckle. With his hands on my shoulders, he steered me from the kitchen and, I assumed, across the dining room to the sliding door. I heard him push the curtain aside and open the door and I put my hands out in front of me, waving them about madly, but feeling only air as I stepped carefully out onto the patio.

“Fuck, it’s freezing out here.”

“You’ll be okay in a few minutes.” He gently pushed me a few steps further out, before reaching up and untying the cloth.

I blinked, adjusting to the light, then gasped. “Matthew! What is this?” The patio was strung with fairy lights from top to bottom, soft music played from a music dock in the corner, and on the low outdoor table near the sofas sat a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

“I just thought it might be nice to spend a bit of time relaxing before we head into the family chaos.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet.” I moved over and sat on the sofa. Draped along the back was a fluffy rug, which I wrapped around my shoulders gratefully. “Is this what you meant when you said I’d be okay in a few minutes?”

“Yeah.” He sat next to me, and I threw the blanket over him as well. We snuggled in, toasty warm despite the cold.

“I love these lights.”

“You said the other day you’d love something like that out here.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, when we were at the hardware store, getting the handles for the new wardrobe in your…our…room.”

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