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I stared at Mother in disbelief. “What are you saying?” I shook my head. “That it’s a lost cause? That I should take Liam and run?” It was impossible not to think back to what Garath had said that morning. “I would be abandoning the kingdom to a monster. The Corvo Dynasty would be over. Your legacy...”
Mother’s focus drifted past me to the window and the view of the moonlit sea and the starry sky. “It was over before you were ever born,” she murmured. “But at least if you run, you and Liam will be alive.” Her lips quivered. “The two of you will be my legacy.”
I shook my head again, more firmly this time. “I’m not ready to give up just yet. There may be another way,” I said before filling her in on the reports of organized Feral attacks and my idea about playing those up to distract King Eduart.
I sat in silence, watching Mother’s carefully guarded expression as she considered my proposed plan. “It’s not a bad idea.” She angled her head to the side. “It would take time—far more time than I have left. You must be patient and subtle, or Eduart will catch wind of the subterfuge.”
“I can do that,” I assured her. “I can be subtle. And if it doesn’t work, Liam and I will leave before his birthday.” Before his ill-fated testing.
Mother was quiet, her stare assessing. “In the meantime, there is one other thing you will need to do to make this work,” Mother said.
I raised my eyebrows, a silent question.
“You will need to have a child, Del,” she said. “Anotherchild. A successful pregnancy will divert Alastor’s attention from Liam and bolster his reputation with his father—both are essential while you lay your trap. It wasn’t hyperbole when I said you would need to be patient. This plan will stretch beyond Liam’s birthday.”
I was already shaking my head before she finished speaking. “I’ve been trying to bear Alastor’s child for ten years,” I reminded her. “Dozens of pregnancies—all ending the same way. Alastor and Ican’thave a baby together.”
Mother’s eyes twinkled, and the corners of her mouth tensed. “I never said Alastor needed to be the father. He only needs tobelievethe child is his.”
I opened my mouth, then shut it again and leaned back in my chair.
“Garath would—”
“Garath and I aren’t—” I took a steadying breath, reorganizing my response before speaking again. “I don’t want to put him in that position. He’s the head of my personal guard and is always with me. He would have to be around his child every day but never be acknowledged as the father. It would be unfair, and worse, it would be cruel.”
Mother guffawed. “Garath is more of a father to Liam than either Alastor or that red-haired rebel has ever been, and it would be no different for his own child, regardless of what the rest of the world believed.” She inhaled a faintly gurgling breath. “He is a good man, and those are increasingly hard to find.” She raised her hand and tapped her temple with two fingertips. “Trust me, I know. And he is absolutely devoted to you. That man would walk off a cliff if he believed doing so would save your life. Besides, there has been no trace of the wasting sickness in his family.” She nodded definitively. “It should be Garath.”
My chin trembled at the thought of approaching Garath with this request. He was my best friend. My most trusted confidant. He was strong and handsome, and he truly was like a father to Liam, but he wasn’t . . . we weren’t . . .Ididn’t feel that way about him. After so many years with Alastor, I wasn’t sure I could feel that way about anyone.
I knew she was right. Garath would do it. But in the end, it would wound him deeply.
I captured Mother’s hand and lowered my mental shields, allowing her to see the secret history I shared with Garath. I needed her to know exactly what she was asking me to do.
When I first learned I was pregnant with Liam, I had attempted to seduce Garath into eloping with me to disguise my indiscretion. But Garath had seen through me, and once he coerced the truth from me, he convinced me to tell Fin—to give my baby’s father a chance tobethe father. We had made plans to meet at the summer solstice festival, but Fin never showed up. I was two months along, and I was scared—and desperately in need of a husband to preserve the perceived purity of my child’s bloodline.
Once again, I had turned to Garath. He had pledged his life to me but refused to marry me, knowing my heart lay elsewhere. He had claimed he feared he would end up falling in love with me, and the knowledge that I loved another would eat away at his devotion until he grew too bitter to fulfill his sworn duty. In the end, he had said, it would kill him.
He hadn’t liked my choice of Alastor for consort any more than Mother had, but none of the other available suitors had red hair or green eyes, like Fin, which meant the ruse would be pointless should the child emerge resembling its father. I had been foolishly determined to make my marriage and family appear legitimate, so much so, that I had been blind to just howunlikeFin Alastor truly was. Too late, I discovered the rotten core hidden beneath his charming exterior.
I had bled so heavily after Alastor’s rough consummation of our marriage that I felt certain I had lost the baby. Garath had been prepared to end Alastor’s life then, but two weeks later, I felt the first flutters of movement within me, and for the time being, Alastor’s life had been spared.
“Enough,” Mother said, withdrawing her hand. Tears streaked her heavily lined cheeks, and she wiped them away with one hand. “This changes nothing. If you wish to preserve your relationship with Garath, gather Liam and leave Corvo City now—tonight. If you wish to fight for the kingdom and follow through with the Ferals plan, then you must commit to this course, Delphinia, wholly and completely.” She suppressed a cough. “Or you will surely fail.”
Her shoulders hunched, her chest jerked with the most violent coughing fit I had witnessed yet. Blood splattered her hand and sprayed on the sheets. All of this talking was taking its toll on her body.
“I’ll fetch Dr. Robins,” I said, standing abruptly and rushing out of the room.
As I raced down the corridor, Mother’s words echoed in my bones, leaving me feeling hollowed out and incapable of making a decision. A decade ago, I had cursed her for her ability to make ruthless decisions with an ice-cold heart. But after all these years, I finally understood.
She had sacrificed the few—the Healers—to save a kingdom. She had made the tough call, time and again, so nobody else would have to do it. She couldn’t trust anybody elsetodo it, certainly not her tender-hearted, idealistic heir.
And now she was dying, leaving the fate of the kingdom in my hands.
All my youthful idealism had fled the moment the midwife set Liam on my chest. The world had crumbled and reformed around a new focal point—my son. Nothing else mattered as much as Liam and my desperate need to keep him safe. To protect him.
Motherhood had made me ruthless where my son was concerned. My marriage had hardened my heart, surrounding it with walls of iron and ice. Giving up hope of ever seeing Fin again had taught me about sacrifice, and each lost pregnancy strengthened my will to survive, press on, and persevere.
I could make the hard decisions now. I could be the heir Mother needed.
