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He falls to the side and I try to catch him but he hits the floor. He must have forgotten that there wasn’t anything on the couch beside him.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” Once I see that he’s okay, I cover my face laughing. I reach my hand out for him to take to help him up.
He takes it and gives me a wicked grin. Uh oh. He pulls me off the couch on top of him.
I giggle and rest my head on his chest without thinking and his arms wrap around me. I don’t speak or move, just taking in the moment of him holding me.
It’s been around a month since he rescued me from my nightmare. I’ve started therapy and I’m making progress.
Mentally, I know I’ll have hard days and I’ll struggle but I’ll make it through. The crazy thing is I’m really happy.
Isaac kisses the top of my head. I snuggle deeper into his chest. I can hear his heart beating fast.
I lean up, looking at him. His eyes are happy and I hope that I’m a part of that the reason. I scoot up further, resting my forehead on his chin. No words are spoken between us but there doesn’t have to be.
I’m not sure how long we lay there until Isaac decides to sit up with me in his arms and sit on the couch. “How do you feel about going out for dinner tonight? Or do you think you’re not ready?” he asks me.
“I would love too.” He’ll be with me and I’ll feel completely safe with him around.
He smiles at me like I just gave him the world. “I’m going to go get the eggs and then I will get ready.” I slide out of his lap and grab the basket by the door.
Walking out the door, I peek back at him one last time seeing him watch me. I’m trying not to catch feelings for him because honestly, I’m not sure why anyone would want me.
I know that’s my depression talking but I’m scarred physically and that isn’t very attractive. Plus, I’m not sure I can even be intimate with a man ever again without panicking.
But I want to live.
I’m not ready for that part of life again but I do want kids someday, get married, and just be so happy and content.
A vision flashes through my mind of Isaac holding a little girl that is a mixture between the two of us.
I try to shake the thought but I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I think about him a lot, especially lately.
I move to the closet that is now well stocked. A lady from a shopin town came here with a huge collection of clothes. Isaac made me restock my whole wardrobe.
I tried to fight him on the cost of everything but he insisted on doing this for me. He found out about my issues with my old clothing, honestly my old life in general.
I’m not that person anymore; I don’t even recognize her.
I decide on one of my dresses then stop when I see it’s kind of low in the back and my scars would be exposed.
I hesitate on what to do. It’s a beautiful orange, long sleeve dress that cinches at my waist, showing off my curves. The dress is perfect for fall but the back is lower than I’d like, extending below my bra strap.
You know what? Fuck it.
I slip the dress on and sit down at the vanity turning on some music and doing my makeup.
I’ve forgotten how great it feels to be able to dress up and feel pretty. I missed this. I can hear Isaac in the bedroom and I know he’s getting dressed.
I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit I was nervous to be going out for the first time since everything happened to me.
It’s been a month and some days it feels like it was years ago and others days feels like it happened yesterday.
I spray my face with some setting spray and sit back to admire myself. I look alive; I have color in my cheeks and I have gained a lot of my weight back.
This is as good as it’s going to get. I smile at myself in the mirror, feeling nervous about seeing Isaac.
Wait, is this a date or just dinner?
