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I want to be with him more than anything. “I want to try,” I tell him. I know he’s nervous.
He cups my cheek. “Are you sure?”
I nod, putting my hand on top of his. “I have never been more sure of anything,” I tell him honestly.
He pushes my hair over my shoulder. “We will take it as slow as you want. This is about you.”
“I know I am safe with you.” I know my words touch him.
He grips the bottom of my shirt and I lift my arms so he can pull it over my head leaving me in my bra.
He has seen me shirtless before, but this time this isn’t about him cleaning my wounds. There is heat in his eyes this time.
He runs his fingers down the side of my neck gently, running the tip of his finger down the center of my chest, down my sides until he grips the shorts I’m wearing.
I lift my hips and he slips them down my legs, leaving me in my bra and underwear.
I wait for the fear but it doesn’t come. The way he is looking at me, I don’t think I could fear him even if I wanted.
I know he loves me and that he would never hurt me.
I have a scar on my hip where the whip missed my back and wrapped around my hip and his eyes are on it.
“Lay back, angel, on your belly.”
I hesitate because my back will be exposed to him and he will be seeing all of it. I have some on the back of my legs in random parts where their aim wasn’t true.
But I do as he asks.
I lay down with my arms tucked under my face so I can stare at him.
He climbs onto the bed next to me, studying me. “I know it’s ugly.” Feeling really vulnerable right now.
He looks shocked, almost hurt by my words.
He shakes his head no. “No, you’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t help but look at you.”
“My scars.”
“No.” He puts a finger to my lips stopping me from speaking, “No, you are beautiful. I’m going to kiss every scar, every little freckle, every mark on your body until you know how beautiful you are.”
My eyes burn, but the tears don’t fall. I let go of the emotional pain my scars have created, how they make me feel unworthy. He pushes my hair over my shoulder, off my back.
“Beautiful.” He leans down and I close my eyes at the first feel of his lips pressed against the largest, jagged scar.
I grip the sheets, my heart aching from the intimacy of it all.
He pulls my hands loose from the sheets, intertwining ourfingers, lifting them above my head. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he whispers in my ear.
I swallow hard, feeling his lips so close to me. His breath on my neck sending goosebumps down my body.
He kisses the scar where my neck meets my shoulder and I let out a deep breath. I’m wet instantly just from the small touch of his lips.
I tilt my head to the side so he has better access. I close my eyes and I’m going to just enjoy this, enjoy being worshiped.
I tighten my hands in his, loving the feel of his large hands in mine, the callouses from the hard labor he does around the farm.
With his free hand, he runs his finger down the center of my spine causing me to arch my back.
