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“You feel trapped?” he asks, voiced tinged with sadness and disbelief.
“Don’t you?”
“No.” Sadness mars his handsome face. “I did, at first… but not anymore. Not now that I know you, Freyja.” He stands from the bed. Clenching his jaw, he turns away from me.
I hate this. I hate lying to him and causing him pain, but I have to. I will not bind him to me, knowing that I will die. “You told me that because I am your T’kara, it is your duty to care for and protect me. But I am strong enough to protect myself, Aurdyn. It does not have to be your burden.” I pause. “Do you not see? Your kind mate for life. If not for the bond, you would never choose a human. I know this because you’ve said repeatedly that my kind are weak. We do not even live half of your lifespan. And yet, the bond would compel you to bind yourself to me, regardless.”
“You are not a burden,” he says in a low voice full of pain. “You never were. But I will not force you to choose me when it is clear that I am not what you want.”
“I will write to my cousin Edmynd,” I offer. “Perhaps he will not care about the crime I was accused of, and will allow me to—”
“You do not have to leave. You will always have a place here, even if it is not by my side.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I open my mouth to speak, but stop as he adds. “I cannot stay here. I—” He shakes his head and then moves to the door, disappearing quickly into the hallway and shutting it closed behind him, leaving me alone with my lies and regrets.
I drop my head into my hands as a maelstrom of emotions swirls deep within. “What have I done?” I murmur to myself. “I just hurt the only person who truly cares about me.”
He claims his people do not love, but the hurt in his eyes as I lied to him suggests otherwise.
Drawing in a deep breath, I push down my sadness, reminding myself that I’m doing this for him. I tried to protect my heart, but I failed. I’ve fallen for this grumpy and arrogant Dragon and even if he does not understand it now, he will know when the time comes that this is how I prove my love for him.
I could sitin my room all day and brood over things I cannot change, but if I am to save Aurdyn, I must learn to wield my powers so that I can call upon them when they are needed.
When I enter the secret room where Aurdyn keeps his treasure, I force myself to look away from his mound of gold and the place where we nearly made love the other day. I walk around the side to the table and grip the longsword firmly in hand. As I turn back to the door, I notice a shield leaning against the wall. Whoever made this carved an ancient Dragon rune across the front in gorgeous detail. Picking up the shield, I leave the room and head down to the garden area to practice.
CHAPTER38
AURDYN
Freyja does not want me. Her rejection pierces my heart like a sharp blade. I may not be what she would have pictured for a mate, any more than she is what I imagined either. But I would have thought my devotion to her care and safety would have proven I am worthy enough to stand by her side.
I thought she desired me as her mate, but I was wrong and devastation carves out my chest, hollowing the space where my heart used to be.
Curling my hands into fists, I roar my pain to the sky. I am a Dragon. I am not supposed to love. And yet… I can find no other excuse for the agony that twists deep within.
“Cousin!” Brovyn’s voice draws my attention as he flies up beside me. “What is wrong? Where is Freyja?”
“I left her in the castle.” A dull ache builds in my chest at the memory. “She does not want me.”
His brow furrows deeply. “I was so sure that she—” He stops abruptly. “She seemed just as taken with you as you are with her.” He lifts his gaze to mine. “Did something happen?”
“She said we are trapped by the bond.” I clench my jaw. “That our connection is the reason I want her as my mate.”
“You’ve always had little regard for her kind before now.” Brovyn studies me with a piercing gaze. “Is there not some validity to her concerns?”
Anger flares brightly within. “No,” I state firmly. “She has a heart of fire. Any Dragon would be proud to be hers.”
“Does she know this?”
The fire of my anger dies down to mere embers. “In truth, I do not know. I thought I had made it clear, but… maybe I have not.”
He arches a brow. “Then, perhaps you should tell her.”
“She also asked me last night about love.”
“Humans place great emphasis on this word, as do the Elves and the Fae.”
“It is a weak term to describe the emotions of a Dragon,” I grumble.
