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Chapter One
Haley
“Hello, Haley. I’m Doctor Harzel. I’m a trauma specialist who works with a lot of PTSD clients. So, what brings you to my virtual office?”
I couldn’t believe I was sitting here, staring at my screen, talking to a shrink. My dad was a military type who didn’t believe in “quack doctors,” as he called them.
“Shrinks are for whack jobs and murderers,” he would say.
But I needed help getting past the elephant in the room that everyone could see but wouldn’t talk about. I never personally saw anything wrong with talking to someone about the things that were going on in your life. I never found as much relief anywhere as I did when talking to my best friend, Anna. Wouldn’t a therapist just be the same idea?
Speaking of Anna, it was her boyfriend, Kevin, who’d insisted that he would pay for the trauma specialist if I just tried it.He was a billionaire and loved to spoil Anna, which seemed to extend to me as her friend.
“What’s the harm in giving it a try?” he asked. And when I didn’t have a good answer, Anna jumped in.
“Come on, Hales. Just try it. Maybe it will help.”
She looked so hopeful, and Kevin seemed to be challenging me to say no, so here I was, sitting in a Zoom call with a woman who looked like someone’s friendly aunt.
I waffled for a second on how to present my situation. It felt very first world and kind of bullshit. But I promised I’d try, and supposedly Dr. Harzel was one of the best.
“I’m here… uh… because I almost died in an avalanche while skiing,” I said awkwardly.
“Oh my,” she replied, looking down to scribble something on a pad. “That sounds terrifying. How did you end up in an avalanche?”
Here was the part I was least looking forward to revealing. “I’m an Olympic qualifier in skiing.”
“Wow. That’s so interesting. And it says here you’ve been having some issues getting back on the slopes?”
Wait a second. If she already knew, why did she ask me?
“Yeah…” I replied hesitantly. “And that’s gonna be a problem if I actually want to compete in the Olympics.”
“Yeah,” she said, scribbling away. “Sounds like it.”
Then she stared at me, and I stared at her. What was I supposed to say now? Was this gonna go how it did on TV where the therapist just stared at you until you solved all your own problems?
“Well, listen, Haley, I think I can help you. Aversion therapy works for lots of people. But let me warn you, if you’re looking for someone to coddle you or baby you, that’s not me. I want you to get better as fast as possible, and sometimes that’s hard work. Do you understand?”
I understood all right, and I liked that better than anything else she’d said so far. Her no-nonsense attitude made sense to me. I was even getting a little excited about it because I’d been expecting some mushy gushy “And how did that make youfeel?” kind of bullshit. But this felt like she might actually be able to help. Like, for real.
“Yeah, I do,” I replied. “I’m in.”
“Great,” she said back. “Then let's meet in a few days, and we can come up with a treatment plan, okay?”
I nodded, and she smiled at me.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s not gonna be all that bad. I’m not gonna let you miss out on your dreams, though.”
I appreciated that she felt that way even though I didn’t say it. And I quickly clicked the disconnect button once, then twice to really hang up the call.
“Well, she sounded nice,” Anna said as she flipped through a magazine on my bed. I was currently staying as a long-term guest at her boyfriend, Kevin Young’s, ski resort. I didn’t mind so much because my boyfriend Max had come back with me to get back into teaching skiing after my surgery and major recovery in LA. But Montana was dull with gray skies and lots of snow up as high as we were.
“She was,” I replied. “I still don’t know how she intends to fix me, but I guess I’ll give it a whirl.”
I used my crutches to get to my feet from the desk I was sitting at and hobbled over to my best friend, sitting down next to her.
“A hundred and one ways to please your man,” Anna read in a silly voice. “Do you think even a single one of these works?”
