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“Fuck you,” she said. “What the fuck was all that good guy tortured soul shit? A fucking act? No, fuck you. I’m out of here.”
“Haley,” I said, reaching for her. “Please…”
“Please what?” she screamed. “Please don’t be pregnant with a baby that is likely mine. Or please don’t leave because I was a jackass? Or maybe you mean please close the door on your way out.”
“No, I—”
“No,” she said firmly, holding up her hand to me. “Not another fucking word. Goodbye, James.”
With that, she stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.
I felt my heart shatter and I grabbed the nearest breakable thing, throwing it against the door after her.
I couldn’t stay in this room a second longer. It had gone from heaven to my personal hell in seconds. I grabbed a pair of my jeans and the sweatshirt that still smelled like Haley and after dressing, fled the room like it was on fire.
I hadn’t felt this much pain since I’d lost Jane. Realizing it was one moment in time when I could have done so much better and instead, I did my absolute worst made it even harder to accept. Even if somehow miraculously Haley forgave me, which I didn’t deserve at all, I would never be able to redo the moment I found out we were possibly having a baby together.
I told my driver exactly where to take me and I climbed into the back, cracking open the mini fridge almost instantly. I was going to need something stronger than wine in my system to deal with this.
I remembered the moment Jane told me we were having a baby, three months into her pregnancy no less. I broke down on the sofa, weeping like I never had before, and instantly became a dad. My own father had been so middle ground in his parenting that I’d always dreamed of being that dad who was as present as possible. I liked to think I’d done my best with Leann, Ben, and Katie, but was it really true, or was it just what I was telling myself to get by?
By the time I arrived at Brother Bear’s, Kevin was waiting for me outside. It was a good thing, too, because I was shitfaced.
“I fucked it all up, Kev,” I whimpered. “I did something unthinkable and now she’s leaving me.”
“Why don’t we get you inside?” Kevin said softly.
He didn’t ask me another question that night, simply put me up in a suite and made me some coffee.
And I fell asleep crying, knowing I’d probably made Haley fall asleep like that, too.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Haley
Aday later, I woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom to vomit. If this was going to be indicative of every day, that I’d just have morning sickness all the time, I wanted no part of it. Not that I had much of a choice, unlike James, who seemed to think this was a one-person issue. I hadn’t even seen or heard him in the penthouse since our fight.
“What a load of shit.”
I threw up again, this time because of the memory of him saying things to me I couldn’t believe came out of the mouth of the same man who’d said such beautiful and romantic things to me over the last few weeks. It was nearly crippling.
When I finally pulled myself together enough to get out of my room and start getting the kids ready, I noticed that James’s things were gone from near the front door. He almost never left before I got up, and since we’d started sleeping together, henever did. Even before, he’d at least always tell me when he was going to be gone, and the one day he’d done it since then, I’d at least woken up to a good morning text.
But not today. This morning, I was greeted only by a folder on the breakfast bar, where the kids’ assignments for after school were sorted out and listed for me. I felt tears welling in my eyes as I realized that James wouldn’t even show his face to me now.
I was on my own.
Leann woke up first as I was still trying to stifle my tears, and she said, “Haley? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lied, wiping my tears. “Just some allergies.”
“Oh,” she said. “Daddy was having allergies last night.”
“Really?” I asked, trying to pry without seeming too interested. She was a sharp kid and would probably pick up on my intentions in a second if I wasn’t careful.
“Yeah,” she said. “I heard him sniffling and I went to check on him. He’s okay, though. Just has a runny nose.”
“Is that so?” I said dryly. I hated to admit it, but it gave me a twisted rush of satisfaction to think that he was distraught as well. But then my heart sank again as I realized that, if he was that upset, it was probably because he really didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby after all.
