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“Almost done now. I’m going to put some antiseptic cream on it and bandage it up to keep it clean.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
I hold still while he bandages my ankle. I’m still holding Cade’s hand, and Darius’s palm remains on my forehead, stroking my sweaty hair from my face. I take comfort in their presence, and, at some point, I must fall asleep.
I have no idea how much time has passed when I come back to. I feel awful. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sick in my life. I’m only vaguely aware of my surroundings, and I struggle to stay with the real world, the darkness beckoning me back under.
I don’t know how many times I repeat this process, waking and sleeping. It’s a strange kind of sleep, almost as if I’m trapped somewhere between my dream world and the real one, but I can’t quite get fully to either.
I’m aware of the men moving around me, of low voices filled with concern. They drip water into my mouth, but I struggle to swallow.
Am I going to die like this?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Reed
THE ONLY TIME I CANever remember being this scared about another person was when Darius was seven and came down with the measles and ended up in the coma that would eventually lead to him losing his sight.
Cade was the one who’d brought the virus home and gave it to his brother. I had no idea their mother hadn’t vaccinated them. I didn’t even know they were supposed to have had vaccines. I hadn’t been a father long at that point. I was completely clueless.
Cade hadn’t been too ill with it—a bit of a rash and a high temperature—but Darius was a whole other story. Maybe it was because he’d been a few years younger, or just that his immune system was different than Cade’s—but the whole experience had been terrifying.
I’d wanted to run away so many times during that period. I’d fought the urge to go straight to the nearest bar and drown myself in a bottle of liquor. If it hadn’t been for the boys, I probably would have. But I had Cade to take care of while Darius was in the hospital, isolated, and Cade had been frightened that he’d somehow managed to kill his little brother. I’m not sure it’s something Cade has ever really gotten over—blaming himself for Darius’s illness and his disability—though of course it was never Cade’s fault.
Now, looking down at Laney so sick, I can’t help but be taken back to the horrific days, and the weeks and months that followed, with Darius having to learn how to live in the dark. Ithad been heartbreaking, and I’d wished over and over that their mother had still been alive so she could have been the one to deal with it all. Those poor kids, losing their mom and getting landed with me as a father, and then going through that.
Life isn’t fair.
Bad shit happens to innocent people who don’t deserve it, and that’s why I know there’s a chance she won’t make it.
Laney barely seems conscious. She moans and thrashes in a fever-state. The three of us hover around her, all of us equally anxious. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cade worried about another person, other than his brother, but I can tell seeing her like this is getting to him.
“How much longer before the fever breaks?” he asks me.
“I have no idea, Cade. It might not.”
He balls his fists, his shoulders going rigid, then he turns and storms out of the cabin, banging the door behind him as he goes. Knowing Cade, he’ll be out punching a couple of trees any minute now. I swear under my breath. He’d better not break his hand. We have enough to deal with without him adding to it.
Darius sits on the edge of the couch that’s closest to Laney’s mattress. His head is bent over her, his forearms resting on his knees.
“What do you think?” I ask him. “Does she seem any better?”
He places his palm to her forehead and twists his lips. “No.”
I want to punch something myself. “Fuck.”
“Is it worth trying to carry her out of here?” Darius suggests. “Maybe we can get her to a doctor.”
I shake my head. “If I thought there was any way of us walking out of here, I’d have suggested it before Laney got sick. To try it now while she is so weak would be suicide.”
“What if just one of us goes to get help? The others can stay here with Laney?”
“No. I won’t have us splitting up. It’s too easy to get lost in these forests. You might think you’re headed in one direction only to find you’ve been walking around in circles. I don’t want to lose Laney, but I’m not losing you or Cade, either.”
It occurs to me that I could offer to go, but I hold my tongue. It’s not that I’m afraid to go, or to be on my own. It’s more that I don’t want to leave the three of them alone. I don’t think I’ve imagined the tension between them all. When Laney is sitting with Darius, I catch Cade staring at her. I haven’t missed the way Darius will find any excuse to be near her. Cade might be rude and dismissive when she’s around, but he forgets that I’ve seen what he’s like around women he doesn’t really care about. He’s all smiles and compliments, telling them what they want to hear. The fact he hasn’t turned on that charm with Laney tells me he’s uncomfortable with his feelings about her. That he even has feelings for a woman is uneasy for him.
What would happen if I left the three of them alone, and I’m unable to return? I worry the brothers would tear each other apart for her.
