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“What’s going on with you and the boys?”
“Why?” I throw back. “Are you jealous?”
Something flashes in his eyes, and my heart misses a beat. He is. He’s jealous.
“Don’t be stupid, Laney. No, I’m not. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get too close to them.”
“Why not? They’re my family, aren’t they? Aren’t I supposed to be close to them?”
“You know what I mean. Cade doesn’t exactly have a good record of relationships with women. He uses them up and spits them back out again. I don’t want that to happen with you. You deserve someone who is kind and gentle, and who actually gives a shit about your feelings.”
I see my moment.
“What? Someone like you?”
His eyes soften. “I care about you. These past few weeks have been...intense. I’ll be honest, I had no idea what to expect when I got the call that day to say you needed a guardian, but it definitely wasn’t this. I thought you’d still be a little girl.”
“I’m not a little girl,” I tell him. “I might have only turned eighteen recently, but living with my mother meant I had to grow up fast.”
His gaze travels down my body, then he catches himself and yanks it back up to my face. “I’m aware of that.”
I reach out and take his hand. It’s warm and solid. “So, you have to trust me to make my own choices.”
He folds his lips into a thin line, unable to meet my eye. “That’s not so easy, Laney. I’m supposed to be protecting you.”
“And you are. I’m still alive, aren’t I? We all are. You were the one who found this place. Who knows what we’d be living like now if you hadn’t.”
“I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t want the boys taking advantage of you either.”
I play the innocent. “How are any of you taking advantage of me?”
“You’re young and vulnerable, even if you don’t realize that yet. When you get older, you’ll look back and see this completely differently.”
I consider this for a moment. “Maybe I will, but don’t I get to make that choice? I deserve to make my own mistakes.”
I’m not sure either of us really understands who or what I’m referencing now. Does he still think I’m talking about Cade? Or does he understand that I mean him?
I take a step closer, wanting him to comprehend exactly what I’m talking about. There’s only a sliver of air between our bodies, but he doesn’t move away. My body is still humming from the orgasm I had with the boys, and I discover I want more. Reed can give that to me; he just doesn’t know it yet.
“What are you doing, Laney?” he asks, his voice guttural.
“We might never get out of here. If we’re still here when winter approaches, we probably won’t survive. What’s the point in denying ourselves simple pleasures that can make this experience bearable?”
“Because what happens when we do get out of here, Laney? What questions will be asked then?”
“No one ever needs to know.”
“Laney...” There’s a warning in his voice.
“It’s okay, Reed. We’re just two people. Twoadults. Feeling a certain way about someone isn’t wrong.”
He touches my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek, then down to my lips. “Being near you hurts,” he admits. “I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t thought about you that way. But it can’t happen, Laney, and this doesn’t help. Wanting someone so desperately and knowing they can never be yours is a special kind of torture.”
I lift myself on my tiptoes, bringing our faces closer, willing him to let go and just kiss me. “Why can I never be yours?”
He doesn’t back away. “You know why, baby.”
We hold each other’s gaze.
