Page 89 of Immoral Steps


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I turn to him, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Why is Reed doing this? Why is he trying to hurt me?”

“He’s not. That’s the exact opposite of what he’s trying to do.”

“Well, if he’s not trying to hurt me, he’s doing a really shitty job. He’s broken my heart.”

The last thing I’d ever want is to come between them. I love them too much for that. But this is hell, and I’m trapped in it. How can we possibly go back to what we were before?

Darius cups my cheeks in his hands and lowers his forehead to mine, his eyes slipping shut.

“Laney,” he whispers. “It’s going to be all right.”

My entire body aches to claim him, to stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. I could let this blanket fall so I’m naked again and take hold of his hands and run them over my body. I never had the chance to reach my climax, and I’m a pent-up ball of heartache and sexual frustration. He’s so perfect, and I can’t stand the thought that I’ll never get to touch him the way I want again—the way I knowhewants, too.

Darius still wants me, I’m sure of it. Cade, too, perhaps. But how can I be with them if Reed isn’t in agreement? Iwillcome between them all; I know I will.

Reed is right. I have to put a stop to this. It has already gone too far. It was one thing when it had just been sex, and I’d known that if we ever made it back to the real world, we could have allkept our secret to ourselves and no one would be any the wiser. But when feelings get involved, it complicates things. Keeping it a secret would mean us having to give each other up when we’re rescued, but if I cared for them—if Ilovedthem—I wouldn’t just be able to walk away.

I would break my own heart if I did.

“Reed thinks we should try to walk out of here,” Darius says.

That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all.

“He changed his mind?” I ask in surprise.

“I guess the bear was the last straw.” Darius considers this for a moment. “Or he can see us tearing each other apart if we stay.”

I wonder which is closer to the truth.

“If we manage to walk back to civilization,” I say, “what will happen between us all then?”

“I’m not sure,” he admits, “but at least then we’ll be safe, and once we’re safe, I’m sure Reed will see things differently. If he no longer thinks you’re vulnerable, or that we’re being too much of an influence on you, he might come around.”

I try to picture what life will be like back in the real world with the three of them. We can’t let people find out what’s happened between us. I’ll be branded a slut for sleeping with three men at once, and Reed will probably be questioned for abusing me, or some other such nonsense. No one will believe I’d been eighteen when he first laid a finger on me, or that I’d been perfectly capable of wanting him in return. He’ll be branded a pervert for sleeping with his stepdaughter.

It suddenly hits me how selfish I’ve been. I wanted Reed, and I got him, but he’s the one who’ll lose the most if any of this gets out.

That doesn’t change how I feel, but once we walk to safety, and the media storm dies down around us, and people forget that Reed is my stepfather, then we’ll have the freedom to do whatever we want.

Chapter Forty-One

Laney

IN THE DAYS THAT FOLLOW, as we prepare to leave the cabin and hike into the wilderness, I do my best to stay out of the men’s way. I feel like they’re doing the same to me—Cade in particular makes any excuse to leave an area when I arrive.

Sleeping in the cabin with them each night is like torture.

Cade has taken himself into one of the bedrooms, removing the cushions from the couch and creating himself a bed. Reed still sleeps on the mattress beside me, but it’s as though he never really relaxes. Any time my hand or foot accidentally strays over to his mattress, he jerks away as though I’ve burned him. My heart aches for the easy way he was with me before. I miss his hugs as much as I miss his kisses and touch, though I miss them as well.

Darius has completely shut down from me. At least with the other two, I catch them staring at me when they think I’m not looking, but I can’t have that with Darius.

I wish they would fight for me, and I’m brokenhearted that they don’t. I tell myself that I’d never want to come between them as a family, but, if that was the truth, I’d accept what they’d decided, wouldn’t I? I’d put my own feelings to one side for the sake of the family, but I can’t.

I still want them. All of them.

Just as I did when we’d first crashed and came to the cabin, I do my best to hide my true emotions from them. I only give in to my tears when I believe I’m alone in the cabin, or when Ishut myself in the bathroom and cry until my chest hurts, or sob silently into my pillow at night.

But no amount of anguish changes our situation.

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