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I hate that I do.
I massage my temples, realizing that I’m slowly sliding back into that place of constantly thinking about Tristan, obsessing about him, depending on YouTube videos, podcast appearances and tech articles to feed my hunger for any news about him.
Why did you come here, Tristan? I whisper the words into the silence of my office.
Tana appears at the door. “Did you want something?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“I thought I heard you say my name.”
“No, I…I was just thinking aloud.”
“Oh, Okay.” There’s a pause. “I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”
I smile. “I know.”
I watch as she returns to her desk.
God! Tristan. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone to pretend I was happy?
My phone starts to ring and I reach for it, pleased to see that it’s Marie.
“Hey you!” She sounds happy. “What’s going on?”
I haven’t told her about my encounter with Tristan at the Frobisher Society gala, and I decide not to. For now. I don’t want to trigger a neural explosion in her romantic brain.
“Nothing exciting.”
“So, Tristan is...gone.” Now, she sounds disappointed.
“Yes, I think so. He’s not involved with the refurbishment in any way. He just provided the money.”
“Does that mean everything can go back to normal?”
I can tell she hates the thought of normal.
“Marie….” I shake my head, amused and full of disbelief at the same time. “Please tell me you weren’t planning on living vicariously through whatever tempestuous reunion you imagined for Tristan and me?”
“Me? No! Never.” She quickly changes the subject. “How’s Matt?”
I’ve spent the last few days postponing facing my boyfriend again. It’s crazy. Being with Matt is peaceful, comfortable, sexually satisfying, even happy, but just two conversations with Tristan and I’m veering dangerously close to throwing it all away.
“We’re having dinner tonight.”
“Oh! Your anniversary thing,” Marie says drily. “Where you have dinner at the same restaurant every year. Very exciting.”
“I don’t mind.”
“You think you shouldn’t mind. You think you shouldn’t want more because…”
“Because what?”
She’s silent, but I know what she was going to say.Because Tristan was exciting…and look how that ended.
Marie sighs. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Kisses to Matt for me, okay. He’s a good guy, Cora.”
“Yes,” I agree. “He is.”
