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“It’s true.”
Ford doesn’t move for a moment, back to me, and I watch the way his back moves with each breath. Then he turns suddenly and crosses to where I’m sitting on the counter. At this height, he’s a little shorter than me, and it’s disorienting looking down at him.
“In that case, there’s probably no real reason not to tell you this.”
My mind flies through what the hell it could be, and it doesn’t escape my notice that they’re all worst-case scenarios—that he really was in prison, and the reason isn’t one I can accept, that he’s decided he wants to be with Molly, that things aren’t working out between us—so when he cups my face, relief rattles through me.
“I’m in love with you.”
I almost fall off the damn counter. “What?”
He nods. “Pretty sure that’s what this is. And you’re right that time won’t wait for me to get my shit together to tell you that.” His inhale is as shaky as the nerves in my gut. “You coming into my life has been the most incredible thing, and I know I’ve never felt this before. So even if you don’t feel the same way, thank you. I had no clue what I was missing.”
Every word he’s saying is terrifying and amazing. I’m flying under the way he’s looking at me and so happy that he isn’t playing games, isn’t messing around.
My heart hurts because I know I’m in love with him too.
And going through that again is a scary fucking thing when you’ve already been so high and crashed so low. I’ve been here before, this dizzying all-encompassing feeling. Being overwhelmed by how much I can love one person.
I clutch Ford to me, not wanting him to walk away before I can find the words to tell him what’s going on in my head. The skillet on the stove is spitting angrily, but Ford doesn’t try to pull away.
“Was that the wrong thing to say?” he asks.
I shake my head, throat feeling tight. “No. No, no. It’s … you’re amazing. And I feel it too, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that. What if I lose you?”
He pulls me close, wrapping me tightly in his arms, waiting for me to calm down. My breathing is all erratic, and I have this strong urge to cry that I keep having to push back down again.
His big hand running up and down my back helps center me.
“I got you. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, but I know that’s not always up to us. I’m so sorry you lost her.”
“Me too,” I say, pressing a kiss to his neck. “But I’m so thankful I found you.”
Ford pulls back, thumb running back and forth over the scruff on my cheek. “I’m not gonna talk about meant to be and all that other shit people bring up when they’re trying to make people feel better. What happened will never be easy or for a reason, but you’re allowed to have your second chance. You’re flipping the world off with both hands and taking back what you deserve. Someone to love you. Completely. And I wanna be that someone.”
“You deserve that too. I can’t pretend I don’t love her and miss her—she was my wife—but I hope you know that my heart is big enough to love both of you. For me to give you all of me, to show you every day how amazing you are.”
Ford’s smile is soft. “Orson, there isn’t a person who’s met you who doesn’t know that.”
That warms me from my toes to my face, but I want him to know how serious I am. “I don’t want you to think this means less. Because you’re everything to me. There’s no competition.”
“I’m not looking to compete with anyone. I bet Tara was a great person, or you wouldn’t have been with her. I don’t care what you had before me. I only care that we’re here, that we’re together, and that, hopefully, we’ll be able to build our own lives together one day.”
“You have no idea how much I want that.”
Our mouths meet in a slow, deep kiss, hands clinging desperately to each other, my heart trying to escape my chest.
I’m still nervous and terrified, but what’s the alternative? Walking away so I don’t get hurt again? It’s way too late for that.
An angry sizzle is followed by the smell of burned meat, and Ford quickly pulls away and crosses to the stove.
“Well, that’s well and truly fucked. Why don’t we order in?”
“Sounds good to me.”
He clears his throat and runs one hand over his face. “While we wait, there’s maybe some things you should know about me as well.”
I know what he’s getting at without him having to say it. “Why you were arrested?”
