Page 17 of The Husband Hoax


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“Okay.” Émile crosses his arms. “That makes sense considering everyone saw you out there and will be expecting to see you later, and when you’re not there they’re all going to know you ran away embarrassed. Perfect plan, really.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Stating facts?”

“Trying to use reverse psychology on me. It won’t work. Peer pressure never has.”

“I wouldn’t dream of peer pressuring you, I’m simply stating the logical thought process most people will have. With complete honesty though, I’d much rather ditch this place and go get burgers, however I get the feeling you’ll obsess over tonight for a long time if we do.”

Go get burgers? I blink at him for a moment. “You’d want to go somewhere with me after that? I just embarrassed you in front of everyone.”

“It was my choice to get involved, and like I told you earlier, I don’t get embarrassed.”

I eye him, because no way is he being serious. Everyone gets embarrassed. It’s … a natural instinct, especially for people who spend time with me.

Émile’s hand closes around mine again. “You want to go back in there, I can read it on your face.”

“They’ll all be judging me.”

“Probably. So why don’t you prove them all wrong?”

I don’t know how he does that, just throws logic back at me. Most people would have assured me that everything is fine, and yeah, it’s not like he needs to worry about some random stranger’s feelings, but if he didn’t care at all, he wouldn’t have made a scene to take the attention off me.

“Proving people wrong isn’t something I’m good at.”

“And the only way to improve things we’re no good at is topractice.”

I duck my head. “You’re like Yoda.”

“I don’t follow Trek Wars so I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Trek …” My hand tightens around his and I pull him from the bathroom. “We’re gonna have to get through tonight in one piece because I have some serious educating to do.”

“So we’re staying?”

“On one condition.”

“I’m listening,” he says.

“If I fuck up tonight—and I will—you’re not allowed to laugh.”

And as though my words prompt him, Émile does exactly that. “I can’t make that promise, are you kidding? If you do something ridiculous of course I’m going to laugh. But if it helps, it won’t be mean-spirited, and I swear there will be zero judgment.”

He really is the strangest person I’ve ever met. “Close enough.”

The reception isevery bit as extravagant as I thought it would be. Waitstaff in bow ties, huge ballroom, colored lights, and big-ass table decorations. Even in a tux that costs more than my weekly rent, I don’t fit in.

I’m not sure whether to be grateful that most of my relatives avoid me like the plague or not. My parents are at a table on the other side of the room and neither of them have made an attempt to come and talk to me. Every time I glimpse them or think about them, the pit in my gut grows.

I shouldn’t have come.

People are making today about me and not Josie, and while I might not be an expert at weddings, I at least know that the spotlight’s supposed to be on the bride and groom.

“Christian!”

I glance up to see Josie jogging across the room, arms open, huge dress ballooning out around her.

“Hey, congratulations.” I push to my feet to try and meet her hug, and my chair jerks backward then loses balance. Before I can stop it from hitting the ground, Émile has caught it and set it safely behind me.

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