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But there are certain things I just can’t break through with her. I have my cock in her every chance we can get and truthfully, it’s mind blowing. The best sex of my life, hands down. Sometimes it’s quick and dirty against a wall or perched on the bathroom sink when Oliver’s attention is temporarily diverted. Sometimes it’s slow and burning with passion at night in my bed. She’s insatiable and I’m more than happy to be the one to satisfy her.
Even though we spend so much time together and fuck practically every day, I’ve never been able to get her to stay over a full night. Usually she’s gone within moments of us finishing. If we happen to fall asleep afterwards she’s always gone when I wake up. Honestly, it’s starting to make me feel a little used. I want to wake up with her by my side, in my bed.
She keeps mentioning how happy she is that Violet never seems to be home anymore because she would definitely know something was up between us. I’m not exactly thrilled she’s hiding us from her friends. It’s starting to rile me up so much that I’ve almost asked her where her dad is every time Violet disappears, but I shouldn’t be the one to burst that bubble for her. That’s something those two are going to have to come clean about on their own. Frankly, I’m surprised she hasn’t figured it out, which makes me think she just doesn’t want to see it.
Then there’s the fact that she won’t show me her paintings and I don’t understand why. Whenever she’s here and we’rewatching TV with Oliver she’s always sketching something out on one of the pads she’s left here. She can’t seem to keep her hands still, she always needs to be creating. Everything she draws is beautiful and fills me with a sense of awe that she can create something so beautiful, and that’s just what she does absentmindedly, I know the paintings she spends hours on would blow me away. But whenever I ask to see them she brushes me off. She won’t even work on them over here, she just disappears back to her place. I’m considering sneaking over there one day just to get a peak, but I know if I push too hard she’ll run for the hills. I’m trying to slowly get her used to the idea of us being a couple, but it’s going more slowly than I’d like.
On top of my Bianca problems, the letters keep on coming. There’s been three more and they’re progressively getting more and more threatening. Even though I now have cameras outside, I never get a good look at the person delivering them. It’s heading into winter and the figure that’s been putting them in the mailbox is all bundled up, making him or her a shapeless blob. They’re never delivered at the same time or day either so it’s useless trying to catch them in the act. The one thing the cameras have caught is Violet climbing into Dante Moreno’s truck on more than one occasion which just confirmed my earlier suspensions about their relationship.
Rafe has been trying to help me, but forensics said the paper and envelopes are all clean, there are no fingerprints to be found. I’ve asked DNA to be run but I know it’s a long shot. It takes forever to get results and even if they find something, the person will have to be in the system to get a match.
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out who would want to threaten me and it’s not that I haven’t come up with anyone, it’s that there are too many people to narrow it down. Maybe not here in Seattle, but I was in Los Angeles long enoughto piss off a long list of people. It’s impossible to home in on one person unless they slip up and give something away.
I haven’t told Bianca, Grace, or Oliver about the letters. I don’t want to upset them, especially since it’s all been rather harmless so far. Plus, the threats have only been against me, asking how I can live with the guilt, that I ruined their life, and that I’m going to pay. Rafe seems to think if they were going to take some kind of action, they would have done it already and I’m inclined to agree with that assessment. For now, all I can really do is wait, but I’m not a person who likes to just sit around. I’m concerned that if I wait too long it will put the people I care about in danger.
Instead of dwelling on that, I’m laying in bed with my arms around Bianca while she dozes on and off. It was another evening of me worshiping her body like the goddess she is. I let my hand skim over her breasts, down to the dip of her waist, then the swell of her hips. Her body is perfection and fits against me like it was made for it. I nestle my face into her hair, breathing her in. With how often she’s been here I feel like everything I own is starting to smell like her, yet I still can’t get enough.
I’m taking in and treasuring every moment I have her in my arms. I know as soon as she wakes up, she’ll be gone. Those are the worst moments of my day. I’m not sure what else I can do to make her realize how good we are together, but I’m not ready to give up. I’m pretty sure that the stolen moments I get with her would be better than a lifetime with anyone else. That thought should scare the shit out of me but instead it just makes me more determined to make her realize we belong together.
I’m about to drift off myself when I hear a scream down the hall. Bianca and I both jerk straight up and I’m off the bed, pulling on my pajama bottoms before Bianca is even done asking me what’s going on.
I race down the hallway to Oliver’s room, Bianca hot on my heels and burst through the door, flipping on the light as I enter. For just a moment I’m relieved to see him in bed alone, that nobody has broken in and tried to hurt him. Then my heart clenches when I realize that he’s had the nightmare again.
It’s been a few weeks since he’s had the nightmare that plays over and over again in his sleep. When he first moved in, they were a staple of almost every night. Since we got the night light they’ve become less and less frequent. However, it looks like tonight is ending our streak of good luck.
I sit down on the bed and pull a sobbing Oliver into my arms. I stroke his hair and whisper what I hope are comforting words into his ear while he keeps crying.
Across the room, Bianca is standing in the doorway in one of my shirts that she must have pulled on before racing out of the bedroom. She’s looking unsure like she can’t decide if she should step in and intrude on this moment.
I’m rocking Oliver back and forth, trying to comfort him while his little body is wracked with sobs. “It’s okay, buddy. You’re here with me. You’re not alone. I’m never going to leave you alone.” I repeat the words over and over, hoping he understands. His sobs start to lessen and now he’s just crying instead of gasping for air and wailing.
“Is Bianca here?” He asks, his head buried in my neck. I look over to her and instead of the look of indecision I expect to see, her face is a mask of determination. She rushes forward and gets onto her knees next to the bed where I’m sitting with Oliver.
“I’m right here, Oliver,” she says, touching his back so he knows she’s right behind him. He releases my neck and slides down onto Bianca’s lap wrapping his arms around her.
Her wide eyes look up at me, questioning what’s happening, even she can tell this isn’t your normal, run of the mill nightmare that every kid gets. I give my head a quick shake letting herknow I’ll tell her later. She seems to understand and turns her attention back to the little boy in her arms. She starts rocking him and rubbing small circles around his back.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” After long minutes he finally calms enough to stop crying and pulls away from her. She gently reaches up and wipes the tears from his eyes.
“Was it the dream again?” I ask quietly, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah,” he says, giving a little hiccup.
“Do you want to come sleep in my bed?”
“Is Bianca going to sleep with us?” I’m silent, letting her make her own decision, this isn’t one I can make for her. If she wants to be here for Oliver that’s something she needs to decide on her own. I hope she realizes how big this is that he trusts her so much, that he derives so much comfort from her presence. I’m worried what will happen if she doesn’t. Oliver is so attached to her, and I haven’t been able to get her to make any kind of commitment to us. If she breaks his heart it’s going to be my fault.
She doesn’t even bother looking at me for a clue as to what she should do. “Of course I will,” she says, full of confidence. The relief I feel is almost a physical thing. All my muscles relax and the tension leaves my body. I look at her, holding my new son in her arms, kissing the top of his head, and I’m not sure she’s ever looked more beautiful to me.
Rising up, I pull him from her arms and carry him back to my bedroom, laying him down on the bed. He scrambles to the middle and gets himself situated under the covers while Bianca and I slide in on either side of him. He turns toward Bianca and tucks his head under her chin. He looks so tiny as I watch her stroke his hair and I start rubbing his back again.
It only takes a few minutes for him to fall back to sleep. He’s got to be exhausted from the crying and rush of emotions he just went through.
Bianca kisses him on the crown of his head again and then looks over at me. “What was that?” she whispers so quietly I can barely hear her.
I look back down at Oliver to make sure he truly is asleep and the soft snores emanating from his little mouth gives him away. Sighing, I keep my hand firmly on his back, needing to feel him here with me. How this person that I didn’t even know existed a year ago has become one of the most important people in my life is something I’ll never figure out.
I answer her in low whispers, “I told you I got Oliver because my sister died of an overdose.” She silently nods, urging me to continue. “When she died, she was in a trap house, full of other addicts. When the ambulance arrived, she was already long gone and the coroner came and took her away. There was a police report but it was cursory. What was there to investigate? She was another addict, dying of an overdose in filth.
