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"Happy thoughts, Ren. Just stay happy even if you have to fake it till you make it." I reminded myself as I skipped down to the kitchen.
The house was clean, at least surface clean, and it was time to start dinner prep, so that's what I was focusing on instead of obsessing over nitpicking because I was in a mood.
"Rome wasn't built in a day. Although, there is that one theory that the Romans were aliens, so technically, that could be wrong. I can totally see aliens setting up an entire colony of globe-dominating assholes in twenty-four hours." I mumbled, a smile curling my lips when my wolf and inner voice snorted, scoffing at my lunacy.
It could've been true though.
Sure. About as true as the possibility that Caleb Chase will ever be your friend. Face it, he hates you, and it's your fault. You need to shut up once in a while.
"If I did that, he would have fired me. Trust me, keeping him off balance and too confused to talk is a good thing. The more I can get done, the more probable it is that he'll keep me on. I just need to prove how indispensable I am." I reminded my wolf and the crazy person in my head. "He'll like me soon. I just know he will. I grow on people."
"Like a fungus." My inner bitch answered, snickering when it came out audibly, and I groaned.
"Stop making me answer myself out loud. It's weird!"
"Hello, I am you. Think about that for a hot minute."
"Oh, God." I huffed, purposely ignoring how true that was as I grabbed the ingredients for chicken-fried steaks, mashed potatoes, butter-fried zucchini, and biscuits with gravy.
Deciding not to argue with myself for the rest of the day, I focused on how to get Caleb Chase to like me. I mean, wasn’t I great and sweet and funny? He should've liked me.
"Babe, you're annoying. You never shut up. You look like the Joker with that fixed smile on your face, and the uncontrollable, unexplained giggling is weird."
"That isn't fair. I giggle when I'm nervous, and hello, he spent all morning following me around and watching me silently while trying to sabotage me. You'd be nervous, too!" I yelled, scowling as I breaded the steaks and put them in the fridge for later.
Concentrating on prep, I tried not to think about why Caleb didn't like me, and once again, I heard a snicker, followed by an amused growl. Oh great, my wolf was joining in too. This should be fun.
"You need to chill. You're acting nuts, and while I know he's nuts already, you don't need to add to the mix. Just stare back. Please stare back. The man is hot." My inner voice muttered while my wolf purred in agreement.
"No way. I can't do that. He's my boss."
"I bet he's bossy in the bedroom. Hmm-hmmm. Lord have mercy, mama likes that."
"Would you stop it!"
"What? You have to admit it's true. That is one fine specimen of male shifter ass. Did you see his ass and that front bulge? I bet he's packing a salami."
"Oh my God. Stop! I don't want to talk about Caleb Chase's penis." I hissed, chopping the potatoes with a hard thwack while I flushed with mortified disgruntlement.
"Dude, it's a dick or a cock. Penis sounds gross."
"Whatever. I'm done talking to you about this. I'm only open to exploring my feelings right now and discussing what I can do to fix things. I'm hurt." I mumbled, huffing my annoyance when my wolf and inner voice both giggled.
"Seriously? What's new? You need to explore getting pissed about things instead of getting sad. It's annoying, and frankly, I'm over this whole 'oh, I'm so sensitive' crap. Grow a pair and fight back."
"I'd lose my job!" I hissed, narrowly missing my finger with the knife before I calmed down, finished the last few preparations, and put it all in the fridge for later.
Drying my hands, I went down to the basement, where I had a load of laundry in the dryer, a load in the washer, and a whole boatload of folding to do. Taking my time, I folded the t-shirts, boxer briefs, and shorts and separated what I needed to iron. The tasks were monotonous but relaxing, and for the first time since I got to work, I was relaxed enough not to feel like I was about to snap.
"You know—"
"Please don't. Just don't." I warned, losing the easy feeling as tension returned twofold.
I wasn't okay with discussing anything right now and ignored my inner voices as I finished up and got dinner started. By the time it was done, and everything was in the warmer, five o'clock had rolled around, and according to Caleb's list of rules that he'd left on the fridge, I had to be out at five. Hustling, I got out of the house and ignored the longing I felt for what I'd just cooked. Telling myself I wasn't all that hungry, which was a fat lie, I got home, locked up the seven locks, and stripped to get in the shower.
Then and only then did I let it all go and released my tension with a sob that turned into a dramatic wail.
Oh, get a grip!
