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“How did you know where we were?” she asks after a stretch of silence.
“I didn’t at first, until I heard you panicking. Felt your fear.” I take another pull. “It’s almost like my mind knew exactly where to find you.”
“Hmm. Interesting.” She leans forward, resting her elbows on the marble railing.
“Juniper knew better than to take you to that party.”
“I wanted to go with her.”
“Yes, courtesy of that rebellious streak inside you. What is it about women that makes them not listen?”
“What is it about men always wanting things to go their way andmansplaining?”
“Mansplaining?” I frown. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It’s when a man feels the need to explain something to a woman in a condescending way. Maybe if you didn’t do that, Juniper would listen to you more.”
“Oh, please. Juniper listens to no one. She does what she wants.”
“Seems all of you do.”
I say nothing to that, only because it’s true. I take a harder pull from my bloom. “Do you not think about what could happen if you die in Vakeeli?”
Her head turns, her eyes latching on mine. Her brown irises are bright beneath the moonlight, her skin satiny smooth, warm. I haven’t seen skin like hers in ages. Natural light seems to favor her complexion, especially the glow of the sun and moon. I haven’t seen anyone with skin like hers since my mother. “It’s not like there’s much to live for in my world.”
Confused, I say, “I thought you wanted to go back.”
“I do…but there’s not much to go back to, other than work.”
“Do you not have any friends?”
“I do...like, two.” She shrugs.
“Family?”
“My father, but he doesn’t keep in touch much. My mother and brother are dead.” There’s a sharpness in my chest when she says that. It’s mildly painful. Is it her heartache?
I drop my gaze.I’m sorry to hear that.I can’t say it out loud. I don’t know why. Saying it out loud will make this thing—whatever the hell this Tether is—feel concrete.
I don’t have to look at her to know her eyes are on me. I fight the urge to look at her too, because I know, one look into them, and I’m done. I’ll cave to something I’m not even sure about.
I don’t know what it is about her, but I can’t get her out of my head. Sure, all these feelings could be because of the Tether, but I won’t give in to it. Even if I wanted to—which Idon’t—there’s no way she can stay here. If I give her even an inkling of hope that she can, she probably will. Then it becomes a liability for me and everyone I love. I can’t have that.
I stab out the lit end of my bloom, stand tall, and move back. “Anyway, there will be no more one-on-one time with Juniper while you’re here. We go to Beatrix tomorrow and get you back to your world, so there’ll be no point in getting chummy with her or anyone else. Do you understand?”
She eyes me, her brown irises sparkling in the moonlight. Her jaw drops just a bit, her eyes hardening, and there’s an ache in my chest again—sawing at my heart like the dull blade of a knife.
I ignore it, walking around her and making my way inside the palace without looking back.
Twenty-Six
WILLOW
For breakfast,we’re given fruit and water. Everyone eats in groups—Caz, Killian, and Rowan on the balcony, Juniper and Maeve seated at a table with me. While we eat, Alora announces that she still hasn’t heard from Beatrix, and seeing as she doesn’t want to waste any more time, she figures we better head her way so she can deal with her in person.
I can’t help noticing Alora is much more stressed today than she was yesterday, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the Blackwater group. They’re heavy people who drag the residue of their problems with them, and here she is cleaning it up.
Before we leave, we watch Alora stand in her palace, giving a speech about the violence from last night as the people of Vanora stand in the courtyard below. She has a powerful voice, one that touches the soul. She’s a good queen who gives hope and carries herself with grace—not that I would know what it’s like being a queen. But if I were to imagine myself as one, I’d want to be like her.
