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“For the love of Vakeeli,” he gripes. “You’re just like your owner! I tell you one little thing about me, and you makeyourself too fucking comfortable.” Caz collects what’s left of the red pills and shoves them into a container. He then leaves the kitchen, and I smile when Silvera follows him, but she doesn’t get the chance to follow him for long. Cerberus pops up as Caz storms up the stairs, growling at her. Silvera growls back, but Cerberus stands his ground, raising his large, bushy head. He won’t let her pass. He knows Caz wants to be alone.
“Damn it,” I whisper.Leave him for now, girl.
Silvera retreats, but not without purposely whacking her tail in Cerberus’ face as she goes.
I open my eyes, bringing myself back to the present. Something is eating at Caz, and it’s not just my leaving. No one is around to watch him, to help him, and I have a feeling he wants it to be that way.
I saw him with that gun the day I left, the way he pointed it at himself, the way his face melted, as if he could absolve himself of all weakness and sin if he pulled that trigger. He wanted that gun to take away whatever he was feeling, but why?
Why is he so broken?
What is he running away from?
Fifty-Seven
CAZ
It’s beenfour days since Willow left, and I haven’t slept. Not that I sleep much as it is, but without her here, I don’t care to sleep at all.
I’ve kept myself occupied with work, or I’ve lain in my chambers, staring at the ocean, wishing a large wave would sweep through my house and take me.
Anything would be better than dealing with this pain. Nothing’s working. The black tablets from Luxor have prevented sleep, as they should, but none of Della’s elixirs are easing the ache in my chest.
She’s tried everything, and it hardly takes the edge off. At this rate, I’ll have to go back to Whisper Grove and request something stronger from Manx. But he’ll read me, and he’ll know what I’m truly feeling, and he’ll say the only cure to it isher. I don’t want anyone inside my head again, but I don’t understand how someone who is so wrong for me can be the only thing to ease this pain.
Perhaps it’s all wrong. Perhaps there is a way shecanbe here, and the Tether will strengthen us instead of break us. This Mournwrath feeds when we’re together. If can find a way to get rid of Mournwrath, we’ll be safe. There must be an anecdote, or a way to find Selah and rectify this whole thing.
The only downfall is that Willow would be back in this world—a world she doesn’t deserve, and by the sounds of it, I don’t think I’d fit in hers. So even if there is a way, where do we go from there?
There’s a knock at my door, and I sigh, sitting up in the bed.
“What?”
“It’s me.” Juniper’s voice is on the other side of the door. I walk to my closet, grabbing a shirt and tugging it over my head, then make my way to the door.
“Can we talk?” she asks when I’ve cracked the door open.
“What about?”
She sighs and steps back. “I think this conversation would be best over tea.”
I meetJuniper in the kitchen after putting on my coat and jeans. She’s already sitting at the table, and from where I’m standing, I can see her leg bouncing beneath it. She’s chewing on her thumbnail, something she only does when she’s anxious. There’s a brown folder on the table in front of her.
I sit at the opposite end of the table, and Della pops up with tea on a tray, pouring two cups for us.
“Thank you, Della.” I grab my cup and take a sip, and she gives a slight bow of the head before leaving the kitchen. “What’s this about, Juniper?”
“So, I’ve noticed your moping,” she starts, sitting up taller.
“I haven’t been moping.”
“You have, but let’s not get into that.”
I sip my tea again, raising my chin. She’s wasting my time.
“I spoke to Alora.”
“About what?”
