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I swallow thickly. My fate is still very precarious, and the man who holds my future in his hands has hardened his heart to me more than I ever thought possible.
* * *
Deidre doesn’t offerme her usual warm greeting when I step into the back room. The scowl on her face confirms I’m going to have to work to win her trust back.
She waits till I’m sitting down, fidgeting with the hem of my skirt before she speaks. “You called this meeting. What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I made a mistake,” I say, hanging my head in an attempt at acting contrite. “Now that I’ve had time to think, it’s stupid to protect those bratva monsters. I still need your help, Deidre, and I’m willing to work with you in any way I can.”
Waves of doubt emanate off her. Deidre is no fool, and I honestly hope Daniil didn’t set me up to get arrested. “Why the change of heart?” It takes every ounce of strength to keep my expression neutral while she stares me down.
“It was my little sister’s birthday two nights ago. Anniversaries are still the hardest days to get through,” I say, biting my cheek to keep the emotion from overflowing. That part is at least true. Birthdays and anniversaries always send me on a downward spiral.
Deidre nods. A little humanity shines through in her expression. She’s seen me at my worst, and for that I’ll always be grateful. “Your husband couldn’t console you?”
“It was just an act,” I say, fighting to get the words out over the lump in my throat because it wasn’t an act, nothing was an act. “You told me to develop a relationship with him, and I did. He’s an asshole, like all the other mobsters.” I take a stick of gum out of my purse and pop it in my mouth. A stalling technique. “Listen, Diedre, I was frustrated with you, with the feds. I’ve had to wait a long time to see my uncle punished, but I’ve come too far to give up now.”
Deidre lets out a long slow breath, her head tilting to the side. “Did you watch the showHomeland?” she asks casually. I shake my head not sure where she is going with this line of questioning. “Well, it’s about a Marine Corps scout sniper that was held captive by al-Qaeda as a prisoner of war. When the sniper returns to the US, a CIA agent is convinced that he was ‘turned’ by the enemy and poses a threat to the United States.”
I swallow hard. “What does that have to do with me?” I ask, barely able to breathe.
She shakes her head. “I think the Kozlovs turned you.”
“My loyalty remains with my dead family,” I spit. “But you want to test me, fine. Test me.”
“Give me something to work with. Something real. No bullshit leads. Break into your husband’s office and give me something that we can chase or prosecute.”
“I have something,” I grit out, my mouth as dry as toast. I honestly don’t know what shit Daniil is setting me up for, but here goes. Deidre raises an eyebrow in interest.
“The Kozlovs own a building and real estate corporation called ADL Holdings. Look into it. This is the company they use to clean dirty money. They mostly pay for the properties in cash. Other times, loans or mortgages are used, and repayments are made with a mix of dirty and clean money. They also take loans from foreign companies they control and use it to buy real estate all over the US. Then they resell these properties, so the money from the sale looks legit.”
Deidre’s eyes spark with interest. “How did you learn this?”
“Daniil is beginning to trust me. We were at a dinner with some associates, and they talked business. After I fucked his brains out that night, I asked questions and he answered.”
She nods. “If this is true, it’s a good start. We’ll look into it and get back to you.”
“And my uncle?” I ask, because I genuinely want to know.
“He’s still in Colombia, we can’t monitor him there. But if Jorge slips up on American soil, we’ll be all over him.” My face falls at her news, always the same old story. When she sees my devastation, she squeezes my arm. “Get us the Kozlovs, and I’ll find a way to bring your uncle down as well. It’s a matter of time.”
“Sure.” I force a smile, but I know better than to believe her promises. The only person I can trust from here on out is myself.
* * *
When I get backinto the car, Daniil is waiting, his shoulders pulled taut, his face a stony mask. His stare is menacing, lacking any of the sparkle or lightness I crave. He drags his teeth over his bottom lip, waiting for me to make the first move.
“How do you think it went?” I ask him since I’m wearing a wire and he heard the entire exchange.
Tension rips through the air like static. It’s so heavy, it feels like I can reach out and touch it. “Fine,” he says, mouth pinched, his attention soon drops to the phone in his hands. He’s dismissed me already, his attention elsewhere. Anywhere but on me. And I can’t take it anymore. I can handle his hate, but not this weird in-between where he freezes me out in the cruelest way possible.
Before I can consider the consequences, I rip the phone from his hand, demanding his attention. “Enough of this bullshit silent treatment,” I whisper, gripping his phone. “Kill me or forgive me. I can’t stand you freezing me out.”
His laugh is deep and cruel. It rings out right before he strikes, quick as a panther. I barely have time to breathe, never mind move. One large hand encircles my neck, pushing me into the seat back. His eyes are wild, unhinged to match his appearance. The phone slips from my hand onto the floor but he barely seems to notice. “I’d like to kill you. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than snuffing the life out of you with my bare hands.” A whimper escapes from between my lips. “But as much as I want to, I can’t. I can’t bring myself to do it. So guess what, printsessa—I’m in hell, too. Purgatory actually. Wanting you erased from this earth, and unable to do it.”
His words are spoken with such devastation it takes my breath away. His eyes are on me, glinting near black in the fading light. My pulse jackhammers in my throat, the whoosh of blood through my ears sounds like a freight train. I feel too much; overwhelmed, drunk in his presence, spiraling out of control, and powerless to stop it.
He’s broken, and I did this to him.
