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“What is it?” he asks, glancing over at me.
“What is what?”
“You keep looking over at me.” He pulls the sled in, shifting gears and parking it directly in front of my house.
“Maybe I just like looking at you,” I say lightly. “Is that okay?”
Nassakth watches me for a moment, and then grunts. “The breather is only temporary. I know it looks silly.”
He thinks I’m staring at that while I’m thinking moony thoughts about him? I shake my head, smiling. “It’s fine.”
Nassakth moves to my door and helps me out of the sled, then gestures that I should remain where I am. “Wait here. I will scout your house to ensure that no squatters have tried to claim your property…or that our bounty hunting friend is making a menace of himself.”
I’m terrified at the thought. I cross my arms under my breasts, hugging myself. “Do you think they would?”
“I think it does not matter if they have, because not even a Risdan court would blame me for slaughtering them at this point.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Wait here and if you hear blaster fire, get back into the sled and put the protective shields up.
“You’re scaring me.”
“Nothing will happen to you, Kim. This I promise.” He touches my cheek, then heads to the door of my house. I notice he’s got his weapons holstered at his belt, and he types in my key-override, then opens the door and steps inside. I hold my breath, waiting, and when I get tired of watching the silent doorway, I glance around at my fields.
They look the same as they ever did, bright, cheerful flowers waving in a gentle breeze. I love my farm, but for the first time I’m really noticing just how shitty it is compared to Nassakth’s. My fields aren’t straight or flat, but rocky outcroppings that mean that my harvesting bots take three times as long to gather crops. My house is small and looks run-down. Everything just looks…like an afterthought. It makes me unhappy to see the flaws in my little homestead, because I love it. But after being with Nassakth…I’m not entirely content with it.
As if my thoughts summon him, he pokes his head out and nods. “All clear. Go in and get what you need. I’ll work on setting your perimeters so no one can come on your land except the two of us. Is that all right with you?”
“That would be great. I’m not expecting visitors.” I smile at him. “I really appreciate the help.”
He gives me an odd look. “Kim, you are my mate. I am not helping you. I am doing what any mate would do.”
“Right. I know.” I just feel…odd today. Like I’m the one taking and taking in this relationship and he keeps giving and giving, and the inequality of it bothers me. The way I panicked last night bothers me, too. I want to be brave and sexy and strong, and I feel like I’m chickening out. The moment he started to grab me, I panicked.
But I give him a bright smile, and he touches my shoulder as he passes by, heading to the edges of my fields so he can establish a protective shock-fence perimeter. It’s something that’s been on my to-do list except I had no idea how to do it and no money to pay anyone…instead, I’d paid a bounty hunter to kidnap me a husband. I feel like I won the lottery in that regard.
I head inside my house and I’m a little surprised to see the shattered chair still in the middle of my living area, the one that Nassakth splintered when he forgot he was supposed to be pretending to be captive. I think of how tortured he was that night, how his cock strained against the front of his clothing…and yet he never even thought of hurting me. He could have grabbed me so many times that night and forced himself on me, and yet he didn’t.
And here I panicked about a little kiss last night.
Well, a little kiss that led to something more, if I’m honest with myself. I do want more. I just…I don’t know what I need. Maybe I need a hint of the control back in my life. I think Nassakth is wonderful, but I also feel like I’ve given all my power over to him. There has to be some way I can regain that.
I bend down and pick up some of the biggest pieces of wood, intent on cleaning up. As I do, my fingers brush over a bit of metal. My gaze slides to the broken stun-cuffs, the ones he snapped as easily as my chair. They had kept his arms tied behind his back, though, and I had felt as if I was in control when he wore them. It had made me braver.
