Page 120 of Sin with Me


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“And I think alone is exactly what I need to be.”

His mouth forms a tight line across his face, and I witness the familiar clench of his jaw as his eyes, haunted and dark, silently beckon me. It would be so easy to just forget the world and run right back into his arms. But I can’t. I can’t continue to live in my naïve little bubble, pretending I’m some princess in some fairy tale, and Callisto is my knight in shining armor. This isn’t a fairy tale. There’s a dark reality here that we’ve both been running from for months, and I don’t want to run anymore.

He takes my face in his hands, gently, as if I’m some fragile heirloom. His thumbs trace tiny circles around my cheekbones, and he takes another step closer, our bodies just inches apart now. “Baby, it’s me. I’ve got you. Do you trust me?”

Trust. Almost as delicate a word as love. Lately they seem to go hand in hand. I trust Callisto. I trust him with my body. I trust him with my safety. I trust him to be there at 6:25 for a 6:30 date and to give me the first cup of coffee every morning when we wake up after a night together. I trust that he’s responsible and diligent. And that he will always leave me breathless and satisfied. But the stakes are higher now. Now, I need to trust him with my heart.

“Makenna?”

“I don’t even know you,” I reply, my voice shaky and unsure.

The words tumble from my mouth. Like pieces of shattered glass. Too late to pick them up and put them back together. There’s a pained expression in his eyes that’s almost familiar.

“You know me better than anyone ever has.”

“Do I?”

He narrows his eyes and takes his hands from my face, shoving them deep in his pockets.

“You dance around every question I’ve ever asked you. But this time I want the truth. Where do you go in the middle of the night? Why does your father have an armed guard at his driveway? How did you know someone had been in my house? Why did Judge Landry tell me to be careful? What was that man so afraid of just now?”

My pulse is racing, and I am terrified. Terrified because it feels as if my heart is made of thread and bit by bit, with every word I speak, it’s going to unravel. I take a step toward him, reaching forward and untucking his shirt. I lift the hem to reveal his scar. The one I saw the first time we were together. Right where Reid’s would have been—if he had lived to have one. It’s always been there, etched in my memory. Every time I see it, every time I run my fingers over the raised flesh, I thank God for second chances.

“Where did you get this?” I say as my fingertips graze his skin.

“The answers to those questions don’t change who I am, Makenna. They don’t change the man I am when I’m with you. You do know me. You always have.”

“Can’t you see it? Everything’s changed, Callisto.”

I’m in love with you.

“No, baby. All I see is you. And me. And this beautiful fucking thing we have. Can’t we just leave it alone? Let it be beautiful?”

“In time, you realize what you once thought was broken, is actually something beautiful.” I hear Carlos’s words in the back of my mind.

I used to think we would always be broken, me and Callisto. Now I realize how beautiful we could be.

If he would just open the door and let me in.

“I need answers, Cal.”

“You don’t want answers, Makenna.”

“Why? How bad can they be? Why won’t you just fucking talk to me like a normal person?” I don’t mean to raise my voice, but I’m desperate. All his talk about trust, and he doesn’t even trust me enough to let me in. Why won’t he let me in?

“Because there are some things you can’t unknow. You can try to block it out. You can try to pretend. But it’s always there. Like a fucking disease with no cure. Why would you think I want to do that to you?”

My gut tells me he’s talking more about himself than about me right now. The bitterness and regret are apparent in his tone. My heart is breaking in this moment. For this man. For us. Doesn’t he know he doesn’t have to carry this, whatever this is, alone? I want to hold him, to comfort him. To tell him he can trust me. That I’m here. And that no matter what…

“I’m in love with you, Callisto.”

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