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For now?I was about to question him further until Rafe yelled Rowan’s name again.
“I need to go. Sleep well, Andrew.”
I nodded and watched Rowan’s retreating form. Then I made my way back to my bunk and sighed when I closed the door. Replaying the conversation in my mind, my anxiety skyrocketed. Now that my shift was done and I had no work to distract myself, my worried thoughts reared their ugly head. Why was I so affected by this man? Why did I feel like I wanted to run toward him and at the same time run away? Why was I acting this way at all?
After my breakup with Anton, I had taken meds for a short time to get my anxiety under control. I was better now, for the most part. But this thing with Rowan, the stir of feelings I never expected to feel again, was making everything in my mind spin. I sat on the floor and started my deep breathing exercises. Then I moved on to counting down in my head, the action effective at getting my brain to focus.
Good thing Rowan couldn’t see me now. I didn’t want Rowan to see me like this ever. Then again, maybe it was time for a wake-up call. Our tenuous relationship was already off course. The slightest wave would sink whatever remained.
FOURTEEN
ROWAN
Christmas Day
I focused all my time and efforts on my family. The tension with Andrew was still there, but I fastidiously ignored it. I channeled my frustration into windsurfing, paddleboarding and swimming competitions with my siblings. We made day trips to Anguilla and St. Barth’s. Andrew arranged shopping excursions, scuba diving lessons, and tours around the islands. It was one of the best weeks I’d had with my family in a very long time – well, outside of the fact that I was a grumpy git because Andrew and I were acting like polite strangers.
My father kept asking me what was wrong, but I would deflect and change the subject. Rafe noted my predicament and distracted my family as needed with his outlandish antics.
Today, I stood at the head of the dining table on the bridge deck with a wine glass in hand, surveying the group of twelve people gathered. Gold and red decorations abounded, with large pillar candles and a lush centerpiece of red roses scenting the air. Sparkling gold streamers hung from the ceiling and the nearby railings, and the total effect was festive in the early afternoon sun.
“Thank you, everyone, for joining me on this beautiful Christmas Day. My family by blood and my work family. While many people are watching the snow fall and sipping hot buttered rum, we are gathered outside on a hot, sunny day here in the Caribbean, drinking cold champagne. Personally, I think we got it right.” I laughed, and everyone joined in. “A special thanks to my crew, for their unparalleled effort in putting this feast together and for your tireless work every day. Merry Christmas, everyone! Enjoy.”
“Cheers!”
“Sláinte!”
Instead of having my family at one end of the table and the crew at the other, Andrew had interspersed the seating, creating an interesting arrangement for conversation. We started with the colorful paper crackers adorning each plate, snapping one open to reveal a small gift, a printed joke, and a paper hat. Much as it was ridiculous wearing a purple paper hat, I took comfort in the knowledge that everyone else looked just as silly. Even the stern-faced George. Andrew and Rafe took great delight in taking as many pictures as they could, including several of me, comparing shots and snickering like unruly teenagers.Those two are trouble together.
I was a bit chafed by how quickly Rafe and Andrew clicked, but my brother charmed everyone he met and so did Andrew, and a troublesome alliance was born. Andrew was seated next to Rafe, but I could only hear bits of their conversation. Most of it was laughter. Suddenly I was grinched. It should be me sitting next to Andrew, whispering in his ear, making him laugh. The green-eyed monster had taken hold of me, and I clenched my wine stem so tight I was surprised it didn’t snap in two.
Rafe was conversing in his usual animated manner as he ate, with one hand shoveling in food and the other moving about until he accidentally knocked over George’s champagne glass.
“Oh shite, I’m so sorry,” Rafe murmured, but Andrew was already wiping down the mess.
“It’s alright,” George replied tersely, his face turning bright red. “But perhaps you should pay more attention to your surroundings the next time you’re seated at a crowded table.”
Oh no. Rafe had a congenial personality, but tell him what to do or how to act and look out.
“Excuse me for being enthusiastic about my conversation, Captain Crunch. I’m sorry I don’t have your limited communication skills of grunts and glares,” Rafe replied as a stare down erupted.
“No, of course not. Just a talent for getting naked in front of strangers.” George replied.
Bloody hell, I’d never heard George say anything like that in front of a table full of guests. I moved to get up, but Rafe glared at me and waved me off.All right then Rafe, fight your own battle.
Rafe tucked a long piece of hair behind his ear, and George’s eyes followed the movement. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were living in the Victorian era. Should I button this shirt up to my neck and wear a cock cage?”
Gasps, chuckles, and bellowing laughter erupted around the table. This was way more entertaining than playing cards. I glanced around and noticed Da laughing, Mum rubbing her forehead, Cara tapping away on her phone (probably taking notes for her next book), Rebecca blushing, and most of the crew members trying to stifle their laughter.
“A muzzle would be more appropriate in your case,” George barked, his green eyes glowing and a large vein in his forehead visibly pulsing.
Rafe pointed one finger at George, who looked mad enough to bite it off. “Better a muzzle than a permanent butt plug like you. Maybe if you removed that very large anchor out of your arse, you’d have fun and stop ruining others’.”
As humorous as this catty dialogue was, I needed to put a stop to it before things got out of control. Like before Rafe took the fork that he was gripping tightly and stabbed George with it.
“Alright, I think that’s enough entertainment for one evening,” I interjected as I stood. “It’s Christmas, so can we please put our differences aside for one day and have an amicable lunch? After all, this is not the Real Housewives of the Caribbean.”
“Why not? I’d make a great fucking housewife, minus the fake tits,” Rafe joked, and everyone, save George, laughed.
