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“You and me both. I swore I’d never get involved with anyone I worked with ever again and look at me now. And for what? Are you and I realistic as a couple? I live out of a suitcase, and you own mega yachts and mansions around the world.”
“None of that matters,” Rowan murmured, his blue eyes imploring me. “When it comes down to it, I’m no different from you in all the ways that matter. I’m a man with dreams and hopes and vulnerabilities. And I’m asking - no, I’m begging - you to trust me. Trust that I love you. Our relationship is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I will not give it up.”
“I love you too, Rowan, but I don’t know if that’s enough in this case.” I hung my head. My anxiety cranked up another notch. “The most important thing right now is your health. Where are your meds?”
“Nightstand,” he said and reached over to open the drawer. I went into the bathroom to grab a glass of water, and once he’d taken his pill, he lay down again. Our phones kept pinging and chiming with new messages, and more emails, and I couldn’t read them fast enough. I didn’t want to leave Rowan, but I couldn’t put him at risk. Now that our relationship was under a microscope, things would only get worse. I could see everything we were together and everything we wanted to be about to splinter under the weight of scrutiny. Why couldn’t we just be?
“Don’t go, love,” Rowan whispered as I made to leave the bedroom. Did he mean this room, or could he sense that I was ready to pack up and bolt off the ship?
“Ro,” I murmured but didn’t look back at him. “It’s probably best if I head home for a while. Let this media storm pass. Give you space to think.”
“Apparently, you’re the one who needs space. I don’t want you anywhere but here,” Rowan said quietly. I didn’t reply, too anxious to trust my words. I slipped out of his room, but as I neared the stairs on the next level, I heard a sound and was startled to find Kayla standing outside Rowan’s office.
“Good morning, Andrew,” she asked me as she looked me over. I remembered that my mouth was swollen, and Rowan’s beard burn reddened my neck. The evidence of our lovemaking was right there for her to see. Whatever. Too late now. We were already front-page news.
“Spending the night with the boss?” She smirked at me.
I didn’t want to engage in any conversation with her, so I continued down the stairs.
“You and Rowan are the hottest gossip around. There’s another picture that will be released later today, but that one is much more… revealing,” she murmured, her eyes icy with disdain.
“You went to the press?” I bit out.
“Do you know how much they pay for information on Rowan? And it helps that the crew here are so friendly and told me where you guys were going on New Year’s. You should sell your side of the story and get your fair share. Leo can help you out.”
“You were working with that asshole? That little shit!” I yelled at her. “You signed an NDA.”
“So what? Chances are, Rowan will pay even more money to stop the release of the next photo. And he won’t sue me, it’s a waste of his time. Plus he’d had to prove I leaked the photos. And this conversation doesn’t count.”
“Wow, you are one mean bitch.”
“Grow up, Andrew. It’s a mean world, and everyone has their price,” she hissed as she stalked off.
Rowan and I would be scrutinized to the nth degree. For the second time in a year, my life was spinning out of my control. And I needed to get the fuck off this ship.
I ran down to my bunk and threw my meager belongings into my suitcase. I texted George my resignation, and fifteen minutes later, I walked off the ship and down the pier to the marina in Altamer. My legs were shaking so badly I had to stop a few times to take deep breaths and gather myself. My eyes welled up as I flagged down a cab and headed to the airport.
My stomach sank as I realized the last image Rowan had of me was my refusal to look at him and then walking away. Guilt swirled in my gut like the worst kind of seasickness. But I needed time on my own to think. I loved Rowan, but was I the best thing for him? What was going to happen with his job? What about my business? How would I navigate being in a relationship with someone who wanted for nothing? What could I give him? Was I enough?
As these thoughts ricocheted around in my brain, somehow, someway I made it to the airline ticket counter. I had barely enough brainpower to find words to request the first flight out to Miami. My body was frozen despite the hot weather, and I wondered if I would ever feel warm again.
I watched from the window seat as the plane took off, the island growing smaller and my distance from Rowan larger. Hot tears threatened, but I blinked them away. Once we’d landed in Miami two hours later, I sent him a text.
Andrew:Kayla saw me leaving your room. She’s the one who went to the press. She’s working with Leo and has more photos.
Rowan:that bitch! I’m going to fucking ruin both of them.
Andrew:I’ve gone. I need to be alone for a bit. I don’t regret us. I don’t regret falling in love with you.
Rowan:we aren’t over, Drew. If you need time, I’ll give it to you. But I love you, and I know we’ll find a way.
Andrew:This is one deal you can’t negotiate.
Rowan:Please don’t give up on us. Please, love.
I didn’t reply, but a part of me held on to a tiny bit of hope.
I managed to book a connecting flight to Atlanta and found myself at my parent’s house at six PM, exhausted and wrung out. I knocked twice and my mom answered the door. Between the four AM media wakeup, leaving Rowan, and my travel, I all but collapsed into her arms, tears threatening.
