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“I’m still having trouble understanding why your father wouldn’t have shared any of this with me.”
She gazes at me, her wary eyes fixed on mine. “Would you have wanted me if you’d known?”
14
ANTONIO
Daniela’s chin is turned up, defiantly, but she’s holding her breath, waiting, and watching for my response.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I would have married you.” I don’t hesitate. But it would have been hard to marry her, not because she was damaged—I don’t believe that for a second—but because of how my family was involved. “Your father knew I would do anything he asked.”
“Why is that?” She’s still gauging my reaction carefully.
“He was my mentor.” It’s only part of the equation, but she doesn’t need to know more—not right now.Not ever.
“And you’re such a loyal minion that you would have been willing to take a tarnished daughter off his hands. How noble of you.”
“Anyone would have married you, under any circumstances. It was hardly a chore.”
Daniela places the saucer with the biscuit on the table and sits back, grasping the teacup between her hands.
“My father was ashamed. I’m sure a part of him was grateful to send me away while I was pregnant. It must have made it easier for him. For a long time after it happened, he could barely look at me. His precious jewel, sullied. It was a lot like earlier this morning, when you couldn’t even spare me a glance after you learned about the rape.”
“That’s not true.” I feel the anger rising. Although I’m not sure if I’m more pissed off at her for believing that shit, or at myself for the way I behaved. This morning is a perfect example of what happens when you let your emotions control you. I should have done better.
She shrugs. “I know what I saw.”
“You have no idea what was going through my mind while you were talking. There were lots of things. The overwhelming desire to dig up my father so I could murder him was chief among them.”I’d make his death long and torturous this time.“Don’t you dare tell me that I see you as a sullied jewel. That’s never entered my mind. Not once.”
Daniela sips her tea while I stew beside her. She can believe whatever she wants about her father, and maybe she really does feel that he saw her as ruined, but he never,never, talked about her with anything but love and affection. He adored her. If he was ashamed, it was because they tortured his wife and child under his watch.
As for me, I won’t allow her to fill her head with the idea that I see her as some tarnished treasure. Nothing could be further from the truth.
My respect for her grew immeasurably as I listened to her describe every loathsome thing the Huntsmans did to her.That includes my own behavior, which she never once brought up.I’m not capable of the kind of romantic love she deserves. But Daniela’s my wife,and she’s far better than anything I deserve.That’s for damn sure.I’ll keep her, and Valentina, safe. Even if I die tomorrow, they’ll want for nothing.It’s the best I can do.
“You’re my wife. Nothing you’ve told me changes that. And nothing will.”
She tips her head up and peers into my eyes. “I’m not a child. Things will never be the same between us. Not that it was so great to begin with. But there were moments.” Her voice trails off. “Moments when I had started to believe that maybe our mutual love of the valley, the vineyards, the history, the Port—that maybe we could build a decent life together. But that was a pipe dream of the little girl who once believed you were the brightest star in the sky.”
It’s the first time she’s ever come close to admitting having a girlish crush on me. There’s something terribly poignant about it. Even an asshole like me can appreciate it.
“We can still build a decent life together. Our love of the region is more than most people who enter into a betrothal contract share.”
I don’t promise her love. It would be an empty promise, and she’d see right through it. I’ve never told any woman that lie, and I have too much respect for her to say it now.
“He was right, you know,” she says, just above a whisper.
“Who was right?”
“The priest. Father Ferreira. I never said no. I didn’t fight. Maybe Tomas saw it as my acquiescence.”
The blood pounds in my ears.Acquiescence?You’re fucking kidding me.The anger, lying in wait inside, has turned to rage. “Tell me you don’t believe that bullshit.”
She shakes her head slowly. “No, not really. But it’s a lie I told myself over the years—mainly as a teenager. In a strange way, it made what happened easier to fathom. It’s hard for a kid to understand how people you know—could do something so heinous.”
“Twelve-year-old girls don’t have the capacity to consent to sex with men. Under any circumstances. End of story.”
She takes hold of my hand and squeezes. “Promise me, that regardless of how you feel about me, you’ll keep Valentina safe. That no one will hurt her. In exchange for her safety, I’ll—I’ll close my eyes to whatever you do outside the marriage.”
