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He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“Have dinner with me.” He didn’t sit down or lower his eyebrow, just stared at me. I sighed and said, “Listen. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable earlier. I shouldn’t have pushed. Have a seat and we can talk. Maybe I can help you gain some perspective on your… confusion.”
Warily, he pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. I picked up my fork and knife and started to eat, and when I heard a low moan, I looked over at him, then adjusted myself in my pants as sneakily as possible and focused on his face. He’d just put a piece of roast in his mouth and was looking at me with shock.
I chuckled and said, “I’ll take that as a compliment.” It wasn’t lost on me that hearing that moan shot straight to my dick, making me wonder what he sounded like when he really lost control.
“You should. It’s really good.” That shy voice again. Why was it making my stomach do flips?
We ate in uncomfortable silence. I wanted to ask him all kinds of questions, but I didn’t want to scare him off. I was still fighting the fact that he wasn’t my favorite person, but I told myself if I got answers on why he said what he said about me not looking gay, I could despise him a little less.
After he cleared his plate, which was in record time, I stood and reached out. “Want more?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
I couldn’t resist needling him a little. “Ah, a ‘thank you.’ That wasn’t so hard to say, was it?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, but I saw his lip twitch, so he must have known I was joking. After I refilled his plate, I handed it back to him. I finished my food and then watched him until he was done. He had excellent table manners, cutting his food perfectly and not spilling on himself or making a mess on the table. Devin ate like a caveman. It seemed like he had more food around his plate than he got in his mouth. This was refreshing to see.
“You’re staring,” Lucas said, eyes on his plate.
“I am.”
He put his utensils down and wiped his mouth with his napkin, finally meeting my eyes. “Why?”
“You have good table manners.”
He let out a laugh, uninhibited and free, and it did things to me. It made my chest feel light and a smile creep across my face. What was going on? “Thanks. Fine breeding from my mother. Not because we were rich. She always told me and Cassie, ‘You’re not animals, so don’t eat like one.’” He mimicked a high-pitched voice.
“Sounds like something Momma would say,” I commented. He raised his eyebrow at me again, silently inquiring about my use of Momma. “My parents disowned me when I came out. After I told your parents, they insisted they would take up the mantle as my parents and told me to call them Momma and Pop. I slip up sometimes, but for the most part, that’s what I call them.”
“They’re okay with you being gay?”
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “Why wouldn’t they be? Your parents and sister, they are amazing people. They aren’t close-minded bigots who feel like they have a say-so in who I choose to fuck. They accept me for who I am. Is that why you’re in the closet? You’re worried about if your parents will accept you? Let me be the one to tell you, they will. You have nothing to worry about on that front.”
“I told you, I’m not closeted. I just… never… acted on… how I feel about men.” He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Confused is the only term I can come up with that applies. I’ve been attracted to men since I can remember. I haven’t acted on the feelings because I’m not sure what they mean. I know my family aren’tbigots. I know they are very accepting. It’s not about them. It’s about me.”
I tilted my head again, trying to assess what he said. “You’ve never told anyone? Haven’t had any men come on to you?”
“Men have, yeah. But they weren’t my type, I guess? They were good-looking, but they didn’t make me feel… anything.”
“So whatisyour type?”
“You,” he said with no hesitation, pulling me up short. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting him to be this candid during the whole conversation. Even when he was unsure of what he wanted to say, he pushed past his fear and reluctance to give me honesty.
“Me? Why me? I haven’t done anything but treat you like shit since you put a gun in my face.”
He looked away from me, an unreadable look on his face. “I’m sorry about that. It’s a habit. Kicking doors down and all that shit.”
“I’ll accept that apology. No more, though, unless you really do something to piss me off. Again, why me?”
He met my eyes, his gaze penetrating me, pinning me to the spot I was in. His eyes roamed my face, lingering on my mouth. He continued his perusal of the parts of my body he could see and lingered on my hands. Lucas licked his lips, a small dart of his tongue that had me suppressing a shiver, remembering what it felt like in my mouth. He dragged his eyes back up my torso until his gaze was on mine once again. “You make me feel… different… inside. Even when I had a gun in your face, you gave me shit. You’re tough. And you say what’s on your mind. You haven’t held your tongue with me once. And your body…” He swallowed thickly.
“Your body is amazing. Your body looks strong but also… elegant, if that makes sense. The way your muscles are lean and sleek, I just… I can’t stop looking at you. I like how strong and demanding your hands are when you touch me. Like you want me as close as I can get to you, and that still isn’t enough. Your eyes are gorgeous. The way you look at me like you know me… it’s indescribable. And your lips feel good moving against mine. The way you took ownership of my mouth was…”
He stopped and chuckled, looking down at his hands resting on the table in front of him. “This is harder than I thought. My therapist recommended I don’t shy away from hard questions to get my feelings out there. This is an example of a hard question, I think. I’m not sure if that’s the appropriate answer to why you’re my type, but that’s what I got.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Jesus Christ. The things he said, the way he looked me in the eye when he was explaining me to… me. My blood ran hot in my veins, and my dick was so hard it could split bricks. No one had ever said anything remotely close to what he said to me. Not even Devin, who was very generous with his compliments. “Lucas, I…” I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck as he had. “Yeah, some of that answered my question. And you did see me naked, so I guess that helps too,” I quipped with a wink.
