AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Tristan rose from the ground and sat beside me. He didn’t touch me or ask if I was okay. He gave me his presence, and that was enough. We sat in silence for maybe five minutes, me thinking about this accomplice and him comforting me by being him. That was why I fell in love with him. He would wait for me to decide what I wanted. But he wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t abandon me.
Eventually, I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist. He pulled one arm out and put it around my shoulders, then kissed the top of my head and asked, “Are you okay?”
I wasn’t okay. Nothing about this was okay. “No. Our Deputy Director and my supervisor were found murdered last night.”
“Oh my God! What happened?” he asked, a note of disbelief in his tone. He pulled me closer, making sure there was no space between us as he wrapped me up in his arms.
“The agent who just called me. Billings? Remember I told you about her?” He nodded. “She said that the two were having a relationship, and their killer had to have caught them unaware. He was stabbed in the chest, probably dispatched first since he was bigger and more of a threat. She was tortured like the women in the videos we watched.” I took a deep breath. “They think Bush had an accomplice. The scene was set up too perfectly for it not to be an accomplice. Some of the things we didn’t release to the public were in the room. Only someone with intimate knowledge would know they were there and where to put them. And he left a note.” I swallowed roughly, hoping Tristan didn’t ask what the note said. He didn’t.
“What are you going to do? Go back to South Carolina?”
I shook my head. “Can’t. She gave me orders to stay put since no one knows where I am for leave. I want to, though. But I know it will only put people in danger.”
“What do you need?”
“I have to get home. I have to tell my family so they can leave. No one knows who my family is. I’m not extremely close to anyone in the office. But just in case. I can’t take the chance with them.”
Tristan took his phone out to make a call and put it on speaker. Cassie.
“Hey, love. I’m glad you called. I have something to tell you!” she gushed through the phone before Tristan could say anything.
“Cassie, it’s Lucas. Where are Momma and Pop?”
My abrupt question must have taken her off guard because she was quiet for a beat, then answered in a subdued tone. “At a charity event in Alabama. They’ll be back tomorrow morning. Why? What’s up? You coming to visit?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there in the morning. What time are they expected in?”
“Um… ten, I think. They told me they have something to do in the city at twelve and wanna be back on time.”
“Okay, meet me at their place at ten thirty, please. I want to see you guys.” I didn’t tell her I wanted to drop a bomb on the family. About me working in the FBI, working the largest case since Ted Bundy, and the killer’s accomplice possibly being after me.
“I can’t wait, big brother. Tristan, you coming too?” He looked over at me, and I nodded.
“Yes, love, I’ll be there. You can tell me what you wanted to say in person. You know I love good gossip.” That made her laugh, making me feel like she didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary about me wanting to see them so suddenly.
They hung up, and I extracted myself from his arms. I held my hand out to him. and he took it, following me inside. I was mentally exhausted. I felt terrible about what happened to Green and Mills. They both had ties to the case, so that’s probably why they were targeted. Green walked Bush into the ADX, and Mills was our team leader. Billings was the agent who nearly single-handedly took Bush down, and I was the one who almost put him down forever. Maybe it was just us four that this accomplice was after. The rest of the team—three other agents—weren’t as involved as the four of us. They had to watch the same videos and helped with the investigation, but they played the back and were basically our support. I didn’t know what that meant for them. I hoped our entire team was sent away to protect them while something was done about this accomplice. Billings and I were the only ones who were single with no kids. Hopefully, the rest of our team would get their families safe as well.
“Come on, I’ll make you some lunch.” Tristan pulled me toward the kitchen and sat me on a stool. I put my head in my hands, trying to think, not able to get my mind off what Billings told me. I tried the exercise Dr. Greyson had told me about, but it didn’t work. I wasn’t being pulled from the past. I was firmly planted in the present, but my mind was adrift in that phone call.
“When I was young,” Tristan started talking with his back to me as he put butter in a pan to make us some grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. “This was my favorite thing to make with my mother. I was an only child, so I spent a lot of time with her since she was a stay-at-home mom. My dad was a janitor, and he worked a lot, except for Sundays. That was our family time. Anyway. We would make them for lunch often. She’s the one who taught me how to cook.” He glanced over his shoulder and gave me a small smile. “We were close. Close enough to where I thought that when I came out to her, she would accept me and I thought she would still love her little boy because I was still the same person. I just didn’t like women like she expected me to. But that wasn’t the case. When I came out, she slapped me across the face and blamed herself for spending so much time with me. Said she turned me gay.” He took a deep breath and turned around to face me after he added the sandwiches to the pan.
“She sent me to my room and told me not to come out until my dad came home. When he came home, he tossed me out of the house, saying no son of his would be a faggot. That hurt. It hurt more than the slap I got from my mom. Not only is that word disgusting, but he made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love because I liked men. It wasn’t something I chose. It was who I was.”
His story was riveting. And heartbreaking. It pulled me from the memory of my phone call, though, and drew my protective streak, wanting to take the pain away.
“I was a month away from graduation, so I couch-hopped. I had some friends who either snuck me in at night or got me a hotel room with what little money we could pool together. I didn’t have a job, but I had a scholarship and a work-study, so I was able to move to campus a week after I graduated. I had no one there for me when I walked across the stage and got my diploma.
“I called my parents when I was about to graduate from college. My mother answered and sounded happy to hear from me. I thought she had a change of heart and that she missed me. Her only child.” He turned around to flip the sandwiches, then turned back to me. “She wasn’t. She asked me if I was done with that phase in my life so I could find a nice girl to settle down with and give her grandbabies. I told her it wasn’t a phase, that it was who I am. So she said she no longer had a son. I haven’t talked to either of them since.”
I opened my mouth to say something—anything—but he held his hand up. “Let me get this out, please.” I closed my mouth and nodded. “I was alone for years after. My ex had gone across the country, and I was working at the publishing house. I had a few acquaintances, people I met at Pride and those few from high school and college but no close friends.” A slight smile crossed his lips. “Then I met Cass. She was a breath of fresh air. It was hard not to like her. She’s so positive, so happy, her energy so contagious. I found us going out to lunch, catching dinner, and going to movies. I came out to her early in our friendship, but people thought we were dating.” He laughed a little and rolled his eyes. “She was my intern, which would have been inappropriate, but my supervisor knew I was gay, so he didn’t give me shit for it. After about a year, I met your parents. When they asked about where I was from and my family, I told them we weren’t in touch and that they disowned me because I was gay.”
“What did they say?” I asked, not able to help myself.
This time, a full smile came across his face. “Your dad told me he was sorry, and your mom gave me a hug so tight, it was hard for me to breathe. She said, ‘Well, looks like we’re your parents now.’ And that was the first time I met them. But they trusted Cass’ judgment of me, and they heard her speak about me endlessly. They felt like they already knew me.”
He sighed and rubbed his hand over his hair. “I didn’t tell you any of that so you could feel bad for me. I’m telling you because I want you to know that I’ve been through some shit. And I’ve come out fine. Not unscathed but stronger. I can be there for you now. I’m strong enough. You don’t have to be alone. And, I don’t know, I want you to have a piece of my past. So you can know who I am.”
To anybody else, that would have seemed like a random conversation, like it came out of nowhere. But it didn’t. Tristan was telling me about his past, something he’d been reluctant to share with me, even though I told him everything about me. He avoided talking about his family any time I brought up mine. And I see why. It was unfortunate that his parents didn’t accept him. If they knew who he was, other than who he chose to love, they would be extremely proud of him. I was glad he’d found Cassie and Momma and Pop. And me.
