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Helios’ fists clenched in frustration. “Then what?” He tried to keep his voice low and steady even if something inside him threatened to explode at the distance MJ was keeping from him. “Is it because of what I had to do with Gracie Langley? Is that it?”
The agony on his face was unbearable, forcing her to speak. “No. Th-that’s not it.” Of all the people in the world, Helios shouldn’t be made to suffer for what happened to her. He had sacrificed so much for her. It wasn’t his fault that the ordeal had changed her, made her cold inside and out.
“Then what? Tell me,” he begged. “Talk to me.”
“It’s not you.” She slowly pointed to herself. “It’s me. I can’t...I just can’t love you anymore.”
His face whitened in pain at her words. “Why?”
“Because...” Her voice fell in shame. “I’m dirty.” As soon as she said the words, there was no stopping the tears she had held back for so long. “I’m...d-dirty. The t-things I h-had to do...I c-can’t...I d-don’t want...”
He tried to reach out for her but stopped when she went wild, almost falling out of the bed in her haste to keep herself out of his reach.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, sobbing. “I just can’t. I’ll always feel dirty. And as long as I feel this way, I can’t even think about l-loving you.”
“I don’t care—”
“But I do,” she screamed. “I do! Every night, I feel him raping me. Every night, I’m on my knees, sucking his dick.” Her sobs shook her body. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget, Helios.” She looked at him with eyes dark with terror. “I’ll always be his...even if he’s dead.”
Chapter Thirteen
“You have to give herup, President.”
Maybe he had to. Because of all the people who could tell that to his face, he had not expected it to be Yuri Athanas. He was the one closest to MJ, the one who knew about everything that MJ had gone through. If Yuri was telling him to give up now, then maybe he had to.
Helios downed another shot. “Not while I’m still breathing.” They were in the private lounge of the nightclub Christien di Luca owned, the only establishment in Miami that did not yet have Helios Andreadis blacklisted.
“You have to accept the fact that she might never recover from what’s happened,” Kellion said.
“You did what you could. You got her out alive. But that’s it. It ends there. You can’t keep doing this to yourself—” Andreus shook his head in disgust as he watched Helios pour himself another shot. The Helios Andreadis he knew had never been the type to get himself drunk, but ever since MJ had flat out refused to get back together with him, Helios had spent every night drowning himself in liquor.
Eventually, Helios’ friends forced him out of the club, driving him to his home. He allowed them to do what they wanted, pretending he was completely intoxicated.
If only that was true.
Night after night, it was his number one goal. To drink himself into oblivion. But when he got to his bed, his mind would be painfully clear, and all he could think about was the yawning emptiness ahead of him. That was what life would be like without MJ.
