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Something flashed over her face, an emotion I couldn’t name. Then it was gone before I could draw any conclusions.
She’d said her ex chose not to live close. In a way, he’d abandoned her and Maddie. She was probably looking for someone who lived in town, which meant I wasn’t a serious consideration for her.
We approached her family, who were just coming out of the bookstore.
“Kiki swiped at me again, Mommy,” Maddie said as she bounded toward us.
Riley shook her head. “That cat isn’t friendly. I don’t know why you insist on petting her.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “She’s just playing.”
“Even the owners say she’s unfriendly,” Riley said.
“There’s a cat in the bookstore?” I asked.
“Yup,” Maddie said.
That was an interesting choice for a business when so many people were allergic to cats.
Maddie paused in front of Riley. “Can we carve our jack-o-lanterns now?”
“Of course,” Then Riley asked me, “Would you want to join us? We have cider, and we’re going to roast marshmallows when we’re done.”
Maddie looked at me expectantly, and when Riley smiled encouragingly, I couldn’t say no. “I’d love to join you.”
Logan was watching me carefully. He probably wanted to protect his sister.
I couldn’t blame him.
“You can follow us home,” Riley offered.
She drove out of town to a rancher in an older neighborhood.
When I approached her on the sidewalk, she shrugged as if embarrassed. “It’s not much, but it’s home. And my brother lives close by.”
“It’s quaint.” Tall trees lined the street, and leaves were already beginning to fall. For the first time in forever, I could appreciate the changing of the seasons.
Inside, Riley got everything ready to carve the pumpkins. “Logan isn’t here yet, so we’ll have to wait to get started.”
“I can help.”
Riley shot me a grateful look. “That would be great. I can’t bring myself to touch pumpkin guts.
“Mom,” Maddie said as if she was embarrassing her. “It’s not pumpkin guts.”
“Isn’t it? It’s slimy and mushy.” Riley ruffled her hair.
“I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. Have you thought about what kind of jack-o-lantern you want?” I asked as we headed inside.
Riley handed me the pumpkin carver.
Maddie had gotten several sheets of paper from the counter and was drawing something. Then she showed me two pictures.
“One scary and one happy. I can do that.” Going to harvest festivals, carting pumpkins home, and carving them wasn’t in my nanny’s job description. I hoped I didn’t let her down.
But being in Riley’s kitchen with her and her daughter made me want something I shouldn’t. A connection with someone else. And something even more dangerous—a family.
I hadn’t had the best example growing up, and I’d vowed never to have children of my own. Old insecurities crept to the surface. What could I possibly offer a child?
