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“I’ll never be able to give you what you want,” she says, her hand on my wrist.
“What is it you think I want?”
“A wild fling. A woman to have fun with, then move on. I’m not that sort of person. I… you know what I am.”
“There’s no shame in being a virgin,” I tell her, my voice trembling like my need is going to erupt.
It’s everything I want, I almost add.For you to belong to me, only me.
“And I never said that’s what I wanted. I don’t do that. Sleep around. It’s not the sort of man I am. It never has been.”
“Then why me?” she whispers.
“Because you’re… you.”
A silence falls over us, as we both wordlessly acknowledge what a lame response that is—a nonresponse.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Harper
We sit outside my apartment building, the heat running, Bryson staring down at me. I gaze up at him, thinking maybe I’ll lean away when he tries to kiss me.
The street is quiet. It’s dark, no lights on in the car. Nobody will see us.
Maybe it’s petty, but I want him to see this means something to me. Want him to see it without me having tosayit.
When he leans down, guiding his lips to mine, nothing could stop me from meeting him. We press our mouths together. Instantly, the pleasure tingles across my lips, thoughts sparking in my mind.
The kiss brings the future slamming into the present, thoughts of kissing beneath an altar, of stealing secret kisses as the children play in the yard.
I try not to think about the look on his face when I mentioned Eva. Or how shameful it felt skulking out of the pizza joint.
He groans through the kiss like he can’t get enough of me, one hand sliding down my body and squeezing onto my hip. My core aches when his other hand trails up my leg, the pressure getting firmer the closer he gets. Pausing near my sex, he leans back, breaking off the kiss.
His voice shudders as he speaks. “I wonder if I’ll ever be able to kiss you without losing control.”
Despite everything, I smile. “I don’t thinkIwill.”
“We probably shouldn’t do anything in the street.”
“Tiffany’s upstairs,” I tell him.
Truthfully, I want to hold back from anything physical until I’ve got a better answer to what he wants. If he outright told me that wasallhe wanted, a physical release, I’d have to try to stop. I wouldn’t be able to take it—not from this man I’ve wanted for so long and dreamed about, picking me up, using me, dropping me, and then moving on.
It’s an old-fashioned way to look at things, some might say.
I could chase the pleasure,get mine, and enjoy what I can when I can…
“Then we’ll have to say goodbye,” he says. “It should be for good. We both know that.”
His breath previews the kiss, warm on my cheeks, and then our lips fuse together again. Our mouths move as one, our tongues searching for each other desperately.
Nerves dance all over my body.
“But I can’t say it for good,” he says, ending the kiss but staying close, his lips brushing against mine. “I want to take you on a proper date.”
“It’s too dangerous,” I murmur. “Look what happened tonight.”
