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I paused and reached for my drink. With a frown, I stared at Taylor, a woman I’d known since high school, and tried to determine what to tell her. Having opened her home and heart to us, the last thing I wanted was to insult or offend her in any way. However, there was also no denying that Taylor had no idea what she was talking about.
She didn’t know what it was like to make mistakes.
Or lose control for one night.
As far as Taylor was concerned, there were rules for a reason, and coloring inside the lines all of her life had gotten her the life she wanted. She had a beautiful house in the suburbs, a job she loved, and the kind of financial stability most people craved. Although Taylor was generous and had not hesitated when I needed her, I knew she was never going to understand what it was like for me.
Being forced to jump from one job to the next.
Never being given a chance to prove myself.
I didn’t regret having Ron, and I was never going to.
Yet, now and then, I found myself wondering if I had made the right decision in raising him myself. Not only was I nowhere near where I wanted to be in my life, but I was also struggling with our day-to-day finances, with no sign of a respite. And Ron’s expenses were only going to pile up, especially with school around the corner.
I was being irrational and unreasonable.
“You’re right.” I set my drink down and scrubbed a hand over my face. “Bernard hasn’t done anything wrong, but it doesn’t mean he won’t.”
“You can’t be holding your breath the entire time and waiting for him to screw up,” Taylor told me with a shake of her head. “You need to give him a chance before you bust him for something he didn’t do.”
“I know you’re right. I just…this time is different, Tay. It’s not just me.”
“I know, but you’re the one who knows what it’s like to grow up without a family,” Taylor pointed out with a gentle smile. “Remember how you told me about all those years in the orphanage, wondering about your parents and praying that you’d get a new family?”
A lump rose in the back of my throat. “I do.”
Saving Ron from the same fate had been my priority.
Now, I was being given the chance to do better.
Bernard was a good man, and I had every reason to believe he’d be a good father.
I just needed to give him a chance to prove himself.
“I know you’re afraid because you don’t want him to hurt you again. I know how hard it was last time,” Taylor continued, reaching for my hands across the table. She took both of my hands in hers and squeezed. “But now you know that Bernard didn’t want to leave you. Doesn’t that change things?”
“I guess.”
Taylor pushed her chair closer, her eyes moving steadily over my face. “At least get to know him better before you make a decision. Spend some time with him and see if he would make a good father.”
“How will I know?”
“I think you’ll just know, babe. If you feel like he wouldn’t be the kind of father Ron needs, you can walk away, and no harm done.”
“And if he is?”
“Then you introduce him to Ron and let them get to know each other. You’ll be right there the whole time, Rach. So will I. We won’t let anything happen to Ron.”
I searched her face. “You promise?”
“I promise. Mom, dad, and I are all here for you. We’re not going anywhere.”
I blew out a breath. “Okay.”
“Think about it.” Taylor released my hands and stood up. “I’m going to go take a shower. Will you come and find me if you want to talk?”
I nodded. “I will. Thanks, Tay.”
