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“You know, Lainey, I get that you graduated from Vanderbilt,” Josh spit out Vanderbilt as though it were a curse on her family, “and you’re gonna be a doctor so you think everyone should kiss your ass all day long, but you aren’t that great.” Lainey was beginning to retreat inside herself. She had blocked out his words and was just staring blankly at the table to avoid looking at him. “Actually, you’re kind of a stuck-up cunt.”
Lainey gasped at the word. It was like a punch to the gut, being called something like that. He mocked her with a gasp back. She felt a wall drop between them. She could barely see him over it.
“So then why are you with me?”
“Oh, I thought that part was pretty obvious, Doctor. I’m not.” He stood up abruptly, his metal chair dropping to the ground behind him and clanging against the concrete of the patio.
“Josh, come on, we just ordered,” she called after him, standing up too. One of her heeled sandals came off as she snatched her purse and started to run after him. She started to turn back and retrieve it, then left it in favor of following him out the gate.
“Maybe,” he turned around six feet in front of her, “you could find, like, a preschool or something to donate my chicken fingers to.”
“I’m sorry, okay? It was a stupid argument to start. Please come back!” Lainey felt like she was dying. She was not into anything public, displays of affection or speaking. Her face felt red hot as she stood on the sidewalk, wearing one shoe and screaming after her boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend.
“Seriously, though, don’t eat one, or you might find yourself finger painting and wearing diapers again!” he yelled, walking away at a regular pace, knowing she wouldn’t follow him. She rolled her neck back and stared at the sky for a moment, soaking in shame. Also, they’d taken the same car, so she had to figure that out. Also, now she had to pay for the tab. And she hadn’t brought any money because this was supposed to be her “Congratulations on getting your bachelor’s degree” late brunch meal. She was literally still wearing the honors stole.
She was snapped out of her thoughtful pity when everyone on the patio started clapping. “Encore!” a man called to her, and titters rippled from around him. Unable to bring herself to look, she covered her mouth with one hand, let out a shaky breath, and reached in her pocket to order a ride from a Lyft, walking away from the restaurant, her heeled shoe and her shoeless foot padding against the cement one after the other in a lopsided rhythm that matched the beating of her heart.
Chapter two
Laineybustedinthedoor of the house she shared with her roommate, Jill. Jill was baking in the kitchen haphazardly, the way she always did, with flour floating to the floor and various spoons clanking against surfaces.
“Shit, I did not expect you back so soon. These were supposed to be finished when you got done with brunch. Okay, well, still, get ready for these brownies, Lainey Girl, ’cause they are going to be fudgy this time, I can feel it. I’m adding orange too, and I’m trying to decide if caramel would ruin the flavor profile or not. What do you think?”
“Probably,” Lainey sighed, slamming the door behind her. Jill looked over at her and her eyes widened, leaving dots of mascara on her eyelids. Lainey kept telling her not to put Vaseline on after her makeup, but Jill swore skincare was more important. Eventually, she’d say, the dots of mascara would become her thing, and maybe she’d even start a trend.
“What happened to you? Where is your other shoe? Were you robbed?”
“Of my youth, yes,” Lainey proclaimed dramatically, kicking her remaining shoe off and flouncing on the couch with a heavy sigh. “Josh broke up with me.”
“Oh.” Jill wiped her hands off on the dress she had worn to Lainey’s graduation, a yellow sundress made of eyelet. She crossed the living room from the kitchen and sat next to her, resting a now semi-clean hand on Lainey’s crown. “Well.” She cleared her throat. “How do you feel about it?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m still in shock. It was awful. He called me a cunt, and he left me there with the tab and no way home. I had to dine and dash, basically—not basically; I did—and call a Lyft.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” Jill stroked her hair, rubbing the ends between her fingers in a motion that Lainey always found so endearing and nurturing.
“I don’t know. I guess because then I would have had to talk about it right then,” she replied pitifully, drawing her knees up to her face and hiding in them.
“Ah. Okay, well, hey, you know what? Josh is a loser.” She pulled Lainey’s hair away from her eyes, holding it back like she was peeking between blinds.
“Is he? Convince me.”
“You don’t need convincing. You know he is.”
“Jill, I’ve been with him since I was fourteen. He’s all I know.”
“Yeah, and since fourteen, you’ve been growing up, and he hasn’t. He’s immature. He comes over here and eats all our food and sleeps in until two and makes messes he doesn’t clean up. You know, I once found him eating out of our pans with a fork. That’ll ruin the nonstick coating.”
At that, Lainey cracked a smile, the top of her cupid’s bow widening. Jill bent her head to force herself in Lainey’s eyeline. The sparkle in and the crinkles around them felt safe. If Jill thought this was a good thing, maybe it was a good thing.
“You really think it’ll be all right?”
“Aw, Lainey Girl.” Jill wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tightly, squeezing her. “I know it will because I hated that guy.”
Lainey snickered a little and realized that tears were bubbling up at her waterline. “What do I do now?”
“You should get yourself a man. You need a man. Someone who drinks scotch and has a planner. Someone who won’t wear a baseball cap to your graduation. We could go to the country club and whistle at the men golfing if you’d like.”
“My dad golfs.”
