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I didn't know myself in this moment.
This weak, worn down version of me was foreign to the both of us.
His hand tightened on my wrist. "You do not fall apart," he growled, and there was an edge to his tone. "You are a soldier."
"I don't think I am," I sniffled. "Not anymore."
"Iknowyou are," he corrected, eyes burning holes in mine. "Change is coming. Sooner than I predicted, and you –" he paused to tip my chin up, forcing me to look at him, "you will lick your wounds. You will rest and repair. Then you will rise back up like the soldier you are and fight with me!"
"No, I won't." I shook my head, desolate. "So, you can save yourself a whole heap of trouble and send me back to your father," I added, feeling lifeless. "Or follow through on your promise and kill me." I looked him right in the eyes and gave him my truth. "Either way, I really don’t care anymore."
"You do care," he bit out, pulling me flush against his big body.
"No." I laughed humorlessly. "I really don’t."
"This is what you have always wanted." He gestured around us. "You wanted to be free from him. I am giving that to you."
"I want a bird," I mumbled, checking out on him.On life.
"Stop with the damn bird!" Trigger snarled, clearly furious with me. "You are the bird," he added. "A fucking cuckoo bird."
"And the whore. I want her, too," I added, thinking back to the girl. "I owe her a favor."
Trig balked. "What?"
"The whore Patrice fucked," I explained, barely recognizing the sound of my own voice now. "Tanya with the red hair." I shrugged weakly. "I think we could be friends."
He gaped at me. "Youarecrazy."
Enemies, lovers, kings and clowns, in the end, they all fall down…
Was this what being in shock felt like?
Was that what was happening to me?
"Can I have a bird and the whore?"
Trig narrowed his eyes. "No. You can have power and freedom because you wantpowerandfreedom!"
I stared blankly back at him. "Not anymore."
He balked in disbelief at my response. "Since when?"
"What do you care? You don’t even want me," I strangled out, feeling tears well up. "You hate me. You blame me for her death. You left me with those monsters. Two years. All by myself. The things they –" I shook my head and blew out a ragged, tortured breath. "You punished me for something I'm not even sure I caused." A tear trickled down my cheek. "I'm ruined now. My body. My mind. My heart. My hope. My future. I have nothing left. No family. Nothing." Sniffing, I exhaled brokenly. "What the hell have I got left to fight for?"
He shook his head, but didn’t deny any of it.
"You will stay with me," he finally said, tone harsh and full of grit, his words a warning. "Because you are mine."
"But you don’t –"
"Becauseyou are mine," he repeated passionately. "I claimed you. I am responsible for you. It does not matter what I want or what you want. We are here. Together." Agitated, he ran a hand through his black hair. "We will make the best of a bad situation."
"Wow," I whispered, pressing a hand to my chest, knowing that no amount of pressure could stop the aching inside. "How does it feel, Trig?"
He frowned, brows knitting together in confusion.
"To kill with words instead of bullets."
