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"How do I stop this?" I added, knowing that I didn't need to evaluate further. Like the weakling I was, I'd told the whore about the baby. Don't ask me why, but loneliness and isolation were wreaking havoc on my mind.
I think telling her was my attempt at keeping myself grounded and in the present. Besides, she'd shown me kindness in the whorehouse. I wouldn't forget that.
"No knives," Tanya warned, eyeing me warily. "Or guns."
I pouted. "I wasn't going tostabhim."
She arched a brow. "Weren't you?"
I huffed out a breath. "Fine," I relented. "I might have, but only if I didn't get my way."
"That's a child's way of thinking," she said, stepping into my room. "You are not a child, Ashton."
"I'm not?"
"No." Shaking her head, she smiled. "You are a woman."
"I know that," I squeezed out. "I just..." I shrugged. "We kind of lose it with each other easily."
Her grin widened. "Perfect. Make him lose it first."
"I can do that," I agreed and then whispered, "But how?"
Tanya's eyes gleamed with mischief. "By thinking like a woman."
"Has this ever happened to you, Tanya?" I asked quietly.
"What? Having a hot-as-fuck don worship the ground I walk on?" She arched a brow. "What do you think?"
"No." I grimaced. "I meant have you ever loved someone so much that you literally have no control over your own thoughts?"
She smirked. "So, you do love him?"
I scrunched my nose up. "Nope."
She rolled her eyes. "Just go downstairs and fuck his brains out. Men are always far more compliable when their balls are empty."
21
"Igot your gifts," I announced, hovering in the doorway of my father's sitting room, feeling small and uncertain. Trigger kept his broad back to me as I spoke.
"I love it – I love them both." Flustered and with a heart-spiking temperature, I shrugged and clasped my hands together, watching him warily. "Thank you."
With a tumbler of amber liquid in his hand, he leaned against the wall, attention riveted to the darkness outside the window.
I hadn't seen him in two weeks and my eyes greedily drank him in.
Even though he made no move to answer me, I could tell that he was listening. I could tell that my presence affected him. The muscles hidden beneath the white shirt he was wearing had coiled tight the moment I opened my mouth.
"I hope they please you," he finally replied before draining the contents of his glass. Setting the crystal tumbler on the window sill, he leaned closer to the glass, clearly watching something that I couldn’t see. "Let me know if there is anything else you wish to have and I will make it happen."
Our baby,was on the tip of my tongue but for once in my life, I reined it in and kept quiet.
"What are you looking at?" I asked as curiosity willed me into the room. "What's out there?" Moving to stand beside him, I peered into the darkness but came up empty. "What can you see?"
"Nothing." Trig sighed and the movement caused his arm to brush against mine. "Yet."
A deep shiver rolled through me and I wrestled with my emotions, wanting to both run from him and run to him. "Trig… about us."
