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He loves you, Ashton.
Trigger still loves you.
"Trig…"
"Do you know why I stayed?" he asked then, breathing hard and fast. "In the compound all those years while you were growing up? I could have left a thousand times, but I didn’t. It was because ofyou. I stayed foryou. I killed foryou. I became Fabio's bastard prince foryou.To keep youalive."His eyes blazed with heat as he spoke. "I did not do all of that for you to throw a tantrum and fling yourself out of a fucking window! I did not sacrifice my life for you toendyours!"
Well shit, when he put it that way…
"Trig –"
"You think I do not want a family of my own? Someone to loveme? Someone to care for after a lifetime of suffering?" He glared at me; his eyes a mix of love and hate. "You think Iwantto force your hand?" He shook his head. "This iskillingme,corderito. Killing. Me."
"I'm sorry, Trig," the words were barely more than a breathless whisper, but I meant them down to my bones. "I'm sorry." A lone tear trickled down my cheek. "I just…I can't do it." Sniffling, I wiped my cheek and begged, "Please let me keep it. We can figure it out. I know we can."
Trigger was silent for so long that I honestly didn’t think he was going to answer me.
But then he spoke.
"I have the misfortune of being born from hatred and violence. My birth is a representation of how my father defiled my mother's body. My presence in this world is a direct result of my mother's humiliation and torture. Her slow and painful death at the hands of the man who raped her and forced her to bear his son.Me." A shudder ran through him before he finally said, "I will not force you into anything,corderito. The decision is yours to make. Keep it if you must."
Hope flickered to life inside of me. "Really?"
Trigger nodded stiffly. "If the price of keeping you alive is the child that I put in your womb, then I will pay it." Hard as stone, he climbed to his feet. "But remember that my mother's fate will become your fate, and that baby you already cherish so much will become nothing more than my father's puppet."
24
Many more weeks passed by without another attack on my father's estate. Fabio's lack of action was alarming. It let me know in no uncertain terms that this was his version of the calm before the storm. His silence wascrippling, and I knew in my heart that when his storm cloud finally rolled in, he would leave nothing but devastation in his wake.
As for Trigger? Well, he had closed himself off entirely from me. He was furious with me for forcing his hand and he was making sure that I knew it. The night he agreed to my terms, he had hit the bottle and continued to drink for several days after that.
His disdain was heady, and his lack of interest in my changing body spoke volumes.
He told me that he loved me that one time and I hadn't heard it since. In fact, we barely spoke at all.
He refused to acknowledge the swell of my stomach or the life we had created together that was steadily growing inside of my womb, and was noticeably absent whenever the doctor visited the estate.
At night, he continued to visit me, because feuding or not, he still craved my flesh and I still craved the feel of him between my thighs. Every night, he would fuck me into submission before disappearing with the early morning sunlight, not to be seen until the sun set in the sky again.
He didn't want me to have this baby, and even though he wasn't actively trying to change my mind anymore, he made his feelings clear in his own way.
In other words, I got to keep my baby, but the price I paid was Trigger – oh, and metal bars on my window.
I didn’t care about being caged anymore. They could chain me up and I would gladly comply if it meant that I could continue with my pregnancy.
I had become an orphan at the age of ten, and didn’t have a single family member left in the world. Now, the prospect of having someone who was my own flesh and blood was thrilling. Icoulddo this. I might be bad at it, but I was more than willing to give it my best shot. I needed the hope that came with new life.
In time, Trigger would come around.
He had to.
Eventually.
I hoped.
* * *
Four months into my pregnancy, I was really starting to show. My once flat stomach had morphed into a firm, round bump. My hips had widened, my breasts were swollen, but it was my mind that had taken on the biggest transformation.
