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"So…" I shifted in discomfort, unsure of what to do or say. "How is your shoulder?"
"How is your pussy?" was his immediate response.
"Tender," I whispered, cheeks flaming in heat.
"Sí," he agreed with a sigh, exhaling another cloud of smoke. "It is the same for me."
"Are you mad at me?" I asked then, unsure of what to make of his calmness when he was anythingbutcalm with my body last night.
"Areyoumad at me?" he threw my question back at me.
"Yes." I narrowed my eyes, irritated by his avoidance of answering a damn question. "I'm furious."
"Sí," he repeated his earlier words. "Then it is the same for me."
"Are you going to say anything?" I demanded then, huffing out a frustrated breath from his lack of…well, emotion.
"What would you like me to say,corderito?" he replied in a flat, void tone.
"Something," I hissed, overwhelmed with emotion. "Anything." Swallowing a pained groan, I squeezed out, "Just talk… about us? What happened? Your day? I don't know?"
Tucking my damp hair behind my ear, I stared at the visible burn marks on his back – the ones the tattoos couldn’t cover.
The ones that were my fault.
"Just saysomething,Trig."
"I had a very productive day at work, darling," he reeled off dryly. "I took the lives of no less than four men and delivered a substantial shipment of chiva – Alemanni cartel. No doubt, it will be reaching the streets any day now. More lives to ruin. More whores on the corners to work. More mother's sons to put in the ground. Just another day in the office." Shaking his head, he exhaled a weary sigh. "Does that suffice as enoughtalking?" Taking another hit, he let his shoulders sag, elbows resting on his thighs. "Or should I continue?"
"That's not funny, Trig," I whispered, unable to suppress the shiver that rolled through me.
"I am not laughing,corderito," he replied, exhaling slowly.
Feeling at a complete loss, I glanced around the room and said, "It wasn't supposed to be like this." Wrapping my arms around my knees, I dropped my head and whispered, "We weren't supposed to end up like this."
"No," he agreed quietly. "We weren't."
"Are you always going to stay with him?" I forced myself to ask, risking a peek. "Your father." I swallowed deeply. "Do you still plan to raise the army and –"
"You do not get to ask me questions," he quickly cut me off. "I do not trust you." His shoulders slumped. "I will not make the same mistake twice."
I withered inside. "Trig –"
"Do you know that I can still smell it?" he continued, ignoring me. "In my nose. Every night. That fucking horrific smell is what I wake up to – if I am lucky enough to fall asleep in the first place. And the sounds? I can still hear their screams –"
"Please don’t," I begged, forcing the memory from my mind.
"I close my eyes and I see them, Ashton," he hissed, forcing me to hear his truth. "As if it was happening all over again." He shook his head. "Because ofyou." He tipped his head up to the ceiling and released a pained growl. "Because Itrustedyou."
"I'm so sorry, Trig," I choked out.
"I know," he confirmed gruffly. "I believe you."
"I wish I could take it back," I wheezed out, feeling faint.
"We cannot change what has come to pass," he replied. "But you do not get to ask me about my business again," he added. "I do not wish to treat you cruelly,corderito, it gives me no pleasure to see you in pain, but you are not my equal anymore. You are no longer my comrade."
"Then what am I?" I strangled out, barely breathing from the agonizing pressure in my chest.
