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“No, lad,” I corrected, feeling my heart roar to life when she smiled across the room at me. “Especially not me.”
THE DOOR’S ALWAYS OPEN
APRIL 23RD 2004
JOEY
Trouble.
I was in big fucking trouble and going through some major changes to add to the cluster fuck of a mix.
On the one hand, since I turned seventeen everything at home had steadily gotten worse.
Dad was drinking more than normal these days, which only meant one thing.
Mam was self-medicating with more valium than usual – something I had realized the other night when I broke into her stash for my nightly fix and found it almost completely gone.
Shannon was being continuously tormented at school.
The boys were on edge.
And I was beyond agitated.
For as far back as I could remember, my coping mechanism for when shit hit the fan at home had always been one similar to my mother’s.
The only difference was that I didn’t have a prescription from a doctor for what I needed.
And I needed it.
Badly.
On the other hand, there was Molloy.
That was it.
She was the only reason I had tonotlose myself.
Because I told her that I would try.
And I’d been trying, dammit.
I was trying so fucking hard.
To be honest, the only reason I’d managed to hold out as long as I had was the thought of how she would look at me if she found out.
She was a fucking beautiful distraction from a life of bullshit.
But even she couldn’t take the edge off how I was feeling tonight.
Not after I’d taken just about all I could at the hands of my prick of a father.
My body was aching in ways that I never knew it could and there was only one thing I knew that could help me.
And I hated myself for being weak enough to need it.
“Well, if it isn’t the prodigal prick,” Shane announced, when I walked into his sitting room late Friday night. “Where the fuck have you been hiding, Lynchy? I thought that I was going to have to come break your legs for my money.”
Pillows of smoke wafted in the air, and the stench of alcohol, mixed with sex, piss, weed, and dog was extreme.
