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He didn’t laugh.
Instead, he blew out a frustrated breath and said, “I’m not good at this, Molloy.”
“Good at what, Joe?”
“Talking shit through,” he admitted gruffly. “Resolving an argument with words.”
The Pogues’Fairytale of New Yorkwafted from the speakers above the bar then, as the DJ started his set.
“Remember this time last year?” His lips twitched. “You told me this was our song.”
“Yeah, I remember,” I drawled. “And it certainly fits us better this year.”
“That’s fair.” He let out a sigh. “I still can’t understand how you lasted a whole year without running for the hills.”
“I don’t run, remember?” I shot back, reaching across the table with my palm up. “And neither do you.”
Joey stared at my outstretched hand for a long moment before placing his on top of it and entwining our fingers. “I guess we’re both too stubborn for running, huh, Molloy?”
“Or too in love.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, tone gruff, as he pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. “Or that.”
SNUFFED OUT HOPES AND DREAMS
DECEMBER 23RD 2004
JOEY
I knewI was trip-tumbling down a slippery slope with no sight of stopping, no hope of slamming on the brakes, and still, I was too selfish to do the right thing by my girlfriend.
I had the perfect opportunity to let her go the other night, to free her from my bullshit, and I choked.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t pull the trigger.
It was like I’d inhaled her so deeply inside of me that my head and heart refused to function. I couldn’t release the air in my burning lungs without the absolute guarantee that I would get to see her face again.
Whether I deserved to or not.
Sitting across from her at Biddies the other night, it had really hit me just how fucking beautiful she was – and I wasn’t talking about the outside, either.
Aoife Molloy had a heart of gold and was hellbent on handing it over to a piece of shit like me.
She was my momentary escape from all of the fucking dark.
She was the only bit of brightness I had in my life, and it scared me to think of how little else I had going for me.
Without her, I had nothing.
Without her, Iwasnothing.
Weakened and demoralized with life, I had clung to the lifeline she offered me, because that meant that I got to keep her for just a little bit longer.
I didn’t have a backup plan or a safety net to land on when everything went to hell, and itwouldgo to hell on me.
It always did.
