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“I know you are,” I sniffled, cranking the engine. “I know, Joe.”
“I…love…” I felt my body tense when he clumsily reached across the car and tried to pat my thigh. “You…Molloy….”
Tell me when you’re sober,” I replied, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It won’t count tonight.”
“Why won’t it count, Molloy?”
“Because you won’t remember it,” I whispered sadly.
REALITY CHECKS AND DAWNING AWARENESS
DECEMBER 25TH 2004
JOEY
When I opened my eyes,it was to a room full of mid-morning sunshine and a pillow of blonde hair in my face.
Naked as the day I was born, I had my arm thrown over a blonde who had her equally naked back to me.
Pain, undiluted and toxic, instantly flooded my chest, seeping through every vein and artery in my body until I could feel nothing but misery.
Darkness enveloped me.
Sucking in a pained breath when the familiar pang of hunger clawed at my throat, I tightened my fists, locking my muscles into place,
My hunger wasn’t for food.
It was for heroin.
Disgusted, I thought about how far I had fallen.
How I had let myself become my father.
I was poisoned on the inside just like he was.
I couldn’t get beyond it.
This hereditary weakness handed down to me by the person I hated most in this world would forever eat me alive from the inside out.
Addiction had settled deep inside of me like a leach attaching itself to a blood-filled carcass.
Frozen to the spot, and with my stomach twisted up in knots, I desperately tried to rake through my hazed thoughts, until the familiar scent of her shampoo flooded my senses.
Molloy…
Heaving a huge sigh of relief, I shifted closer to her warm body and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder.
She sniffled in response.
I froze.
She sniffled again.
Ah fuck.
She choked out a sob.
The last few days’ events came trickling back to me, bit by bit, and my blood ran cold as shame enveloped me in its familiar embrace.
