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“What look?” she asks, making her getaway, avoiding my eyes.
“Esther, come on,” I say, laughing. “You and Otto are the worst-kept secret around here. Even Daniel’s figured it out.”
Shoulders dropping, she faces me. Her clear skin is glowing, and it isn’t from being kissed by the sun. “I don’t know what to do,” she admits, coming back to me and sitting. “Danny is so adverse, and I don’t want to be the cause of added stress.”
“So what was your excuse when we were in St. Lucia and Danny had no stress?”
She peeks at me. “What do you know about Otto?”
I’m taken aback by the question. The truth is, not a lot. “I know he was James’s father’s righthand man when he was alive. I know they were close.” I imagine like Danny and Brad are. “And I know he’s loyal.” I move in a little closer. “You’re unsure because of how little you know?”
“A little, I suppose. I overheard Goldie making a comment about him.” She grimaces. “Well, you know.”
“A player?”
“Plenty of women. And all young, by the sounds of things.”
What is wrong with her? She has a banging body and youthful face for a woman her age. “You’re beautiful,” I say. “The best example of a woman I know, Esther, and if Otto can’t see that,and your beauty—then he needs his eyes looked at.”
“It’s not just that.” Her gaze drops to her lap, her thumbs making rushed circles where her hands are joined. “The last time I—” She shakes her head and looks at me, and I positively hate the anguish I see in her blue eyes. “Sex has only ever been a horrible experience for me. Painful. Danny’s stepfather, then the endless men that came to the dirty bedsit where I was held after Carlo’s cousin took me from the pub.”
“Oh, Esther,” I whisper, choked up. My heart breaks for her. I know the type of desperate vulnerable state she speaks of.
Sex has only ever been a horrible experience for me.
An unstoppable question has popped into my mind. What about Danny’s biological father? I know about his stepfather, the monster, but what about his real father?
“I was a zombie as I lay on that filthy mattress, Rose,” Esther goes on. I store the question. I can’t add what I know will be another layer of grief. Her hand grabs mine and constricts so hard, holding on, as if she’s scared she could be taken away again. “My body was useless, I couldn’t fight, but I saw, felt, and heard everything.”
I flinch, my mind suddenly crowded with a million flashbacks that I’ve done so well to box away at the back of my mind these past few years. But more recently they’re starting to plague me. They’re creeping out and haunting me. But this now isn’t about me. “Does Otto know your story?” I ask.
“I haven’t told him, if that’s what you mean. Why on earth would I?”
To make him understand you!But Danny talks to Brad and James. James is close to Otto. I’m thinking hehasto know. “Do you like Otto?” I ask, and she looks at me. Of course she does. I’ve only ever seen him be patient and gentle around her. “Daniel thinks he’s in love with you.” I smile when she lets out a bark of laughter.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her hand instinctively goes to her hair and fixes it. “Danny’s probably right. He’s likely after one thing.”
I outwardly express my annoyance. “Is that what you’re telling yourself?”
Esther withdraws, putting some distance between us.
“Esther.” I sigh. “Hiatus is full of young, willing women that Otto has access to. He’s been a total grouch since he’s been here.”
She peeks out the corner of her eye. “He was annoyed I stayed in St. Lucia. He was annoyed Danny insisted, but I understood Danny wanted to reassure you, and you wanted me to stay with Daniel there.”
Oh? The crafty little fucker.“He told you...” I fade off. There’s no point burdening Esther with her son’s conniving stunt. Just wait until I find him. “You need to talk to Danny. Tell him how you feel. Tell him to stand down.”
“Danny? We’re talking about the same man?”
“Yes. You’re letting your guilt rule your life. Enough.” I stand and she looks up at me, alarmed. “He cannot tell you who to be or who to see. You can be his mom and be a woman too. You’ve paid your dues. Now it should be about you.” I dip and kiss her cheek. “Life is too short to stroke egos, Mom. He’ll have to get used to it. Look on the bright side. At least you know Otto can take care of himself. Imagine if you fell in love with a wimp?”
I leave the kitchen and Esther behind chuckling. “Wait!” she yells. “In love? I’m not in love with him.”
I roll my eyes, but I melt too. They’ve not even been intimate, and the feelings are obviously strong. My husband needs to back the hell off.
I make my way to Danny’s office, walking in without knocking. It’s empty. So I go to the TV room. No Danny. I go to the gym. No Danny. But James is standing on his head and Beau is lying on the mat before him, her chin resting on her palms as she watches him. “Have you seen Danny?” I whisper.
She shakes her head.
