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I swallow and sink to the floor, dragging a washcloth over, sobbing as I clean myself, scrubbing between my legs. Scrubbing my husband off my body.
Because today he’s not my husband.
Today, he’s just another man who didn’t listen when I told him to stop.
It’s the only time I can recall when he’s not come after me. I can’t say I’m sorry. Once I’ve got myself together, I leave the bathroom. The bedroom is empty, and I dress in silence, pulling on a long blush skirt and a sleeveless white shirt, knotting the ends. I quickly rough dry my hair, put some sunscreen on my face and arms, and my gold-jeweled sandals on my feet. I grab my cell off the nightstand, my purse off the back of the chair, and a hair tie off the bed. The hair tie that unraveled from my hair while he took me like an animal. I stop and stare at the strewn sheets, then look over my shoulder when I hear the door to the villa slam shut. He’s gone. Can’t face me.
Good. I can’t face him either.
I start pulling my hair up as I head to the kitchen but come to an abrupt stop when I enter and see Danny sitting at the table, dressed in a white shirt and blue chinos, spinning his cell in his grasp. I disturb his deep thoughts and he looks up, the fiddling of his phone stopping. I stare into his icy eyes that are far from cold at the moment. They’re worried. I have no idea what to say to him.
I look away, grabbing my keys off the console by the door and leaving. “Rose,” he calls, coming after me. “Baby, please, don’t walk away from me.”
I keep up my pace, pulling my cell from my purse and dialing Beau to find out how long she’ll be. I don’t even make it to my contacts. I hear wheels on gravel and see her yellow Jeep driving through the villa gates.
“Rose,” Danny breathes, rounding me and putting himself in front of me. I sidestep him and wave to Beau, seeing James in the passenger seat.
As soon as she pulls to a stop, James gets out and I take his place, setting my purse on my lap.
“Morning,” he says, his body still dipped for me to kiss his cheek.
“Let’s go,” I say, unable to appreciate the significance of such a simple moment—a moment when Beau and I can hop in a car and go out for the day without the Vikings guarding us or Danny and James fretting. But is that going to change now?
Beau doesn’t pull away, her eyes on me. “You two still haven’t made up?” she asks, turning her eyes onto Danny. I peek at him too, seeing half the man I know. An unsure man. A lost man.
“Rose,” he murmurs softly, his eyes beseeching.
I return my attention to the road, and Beau finally pulls away. I look in the side mirror, seeing James with his hand on Danny’s shoulder.
“What’s going on?” Beau asks, splitting her attention between me and the road. She knows this is more than an extension of last night’s drama. Of course she does. And because she is my best friend, I want to tell her. And because Danny is my husband and I don’t want her to think bad of him, I don’t want to tell her. I wonder if I’m overreacting. I wonder if I’m being unreasonable. I wonder if I have the right to feel this hollow. Our sex life has always been colorful. It’s always been very physical and sometimes violent. The nature of our relationship has always dictated that. Who Danny is. Who I am. Two people like us coming together was always going to be... volatile.
But today?
Perhaps it’s my emotions. Perhaps my frame of mind, considering the recent bombshell. I don’t know. I sigh and look across to my friend. She looks together. What I don’t know is whether it’s a front because Beau has certainly played me before. Shown perfect serenity and felt utter despair. “Are you okay?” I ask, turning in my seat to face her. I reach for her sunglasses and pull them off, and she lets me. She knows what I’m doing. There’s no evidence of tears. No squinting eyes from a headache. Perfectly together.
“No, I’m not,” she says, making me recoil. She plucks her shades from my hand and slips them back on before bracing her arms against the wheel. “None of us will be okay until a certain someone is dead, and since we’re back to wondering who the fuck that certain someone is, we’d all better buckle up.”
On those words, I reach for my seat belt and pull it on. “Have you got sunscreen on?” I ask, eyeing her bare arm where her scar is visible. I would smile if I was confident her wound was out loud and proud with no underlying reason. Like trying to fool us all that she’s fine.
“Yes, Mom, I have sunscreen on.” Beau grimaces at the road. “You know he won’t let me leave the house without smothering me in it.”
“Good.” I get my cell out and text Esther, asking what Daniel’s plans are, since he’s developed a habit of not answering me. Then I drop it in my lap and rub at my head. “Of course The Bear couldn’t be Perry Fucking Adams,” I blurt at the windshield. “And do you know what’s most fucking annoying?” I ask, not giving her a chance to answer. “If I had known what was going on in my husband’s head, if he had bothered to share anything, I would have fucking told him Adams wasn’t capable.” I spent weeks with the idiot, seducing him, stroking his ego. He was bent, corrupt, a liar, and a cheat, but he didn’t have crime onthatlevel in him. I wince, looking down at my cell when it rings. Like Daniel can’t answer my texts, Esther can’t seem to either, but unlike my son, at least she calls me in answer. “Hi,” I say, clicking her to loudspeaker as Beau takes a left toward town.
“He’s just left with Tank and Fury. Fury’s taking him out on the water, Tank’s had an order from the men to catch up with you two.”
I turn my tired eyes onto Beau. I knew it.Goodbye freedom.Beau smiles, but it’s small. She feels the same, and Esther knows she will have been telling me something I absolutely don’t want to hear, but she’s bracing me. “Thanks.”
“How’s the drunken idiot?”
“Probably getting drunk again.” I reach into my purse and pull out my sunglasses, slipping them on, feeling tears biting at the backs of my eyes.
“What’s happened now?” she asks, exasperated.
I can hardly tell her that I said no and he didn’t listen. “Nothing,” I sigh. “We’re going shopping. Need anything?”
“Nothing,” she says, refraining from questioning me. I bet she grills Danny, though. And, like me, he will lie.
“See you later.” I drop my cell into my purse and sink into my seat. “How did James take the news?” I ask, turning my head, just catching Beau’s shrug.
