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"It’s not my fault my song was such a big success. You know that, right?"
"You need to own your triumphs, Solene," he says softly.
"I’d give everything to go back to when it was just you and me, and neither of us had seen the kind of success that would force us to spend so much time apart."
"You can’t change what’s already happened." He begins to lower his hands, and I catch hold of his wrists.
"What are you saying? Why are you being so defeatist?"
"I’m not the one looking back at the past. I’m not the one who’s so quick to trade my hard-won success for love. But then, I forget how quickly you became successful. You didn’t have to struggle like—"
"Like you? Are you saying because it took longer for you to get to the top of your game, your success is more relevant than mine?"
"That’s not what I meant,” he says through gritted teeth.
"But you implied it."
"It’s your guilt at not being there for our relationship that’s making you see and hear things when there’s nothing there."
“Why should I feel guilty? You weren’t there for me either.” I release his hands like he just slapped me. "Also are you saying I’m delusional."
His jaw ticks. "I’m saying, we need to stop trading insults and act more civilized with each other."
"And what about you refusing to tell me who that woman was who you were with? Is that being civilized?" I say hotly.
"That’s being... Considerate of your feelings."
"If you were being considerate, you’d tell me who she was."
"And if I didn’t?" He holds my gaze and something hot blazes deep in those piercing blue eyes of his. Eyes which have made him a heartthrob with women around the world; eyes which had been focused only on me and with which he’d pledged his loyalty to me, and now… Now, I’m not so sure what to believe.
"I want to believe you, Declan."
"But?"
"But I’m not sure I can."
His gaze shutters. A pulse ticks at his temple. His tone is casual, but his shoulders a bunched. "You know, deep inside, that there’s an irreproachable explanation to what you saw."
"And I want you to say it."
"And I can’t… Not yet."
I curl my fingers into fists at my sides. "Why not though? Why can’t you tell me who she is? Why can’t you share why she was upset and why you were consoling her?"
"Because it would hurt you."
The breath whooshes out of me. Until now, I’ve held out hope it was nothing. That really, it was all a misunderstanding. We got our wires crossed. There’s a perfectly simple explanation for what I saw. But something in his eyes, something in how he sets his jaw, how those beautiful lips of his thin, how he seems to retreat deeper behind that wall he puts up between himself and the outside world, tells me that perhaps, it’s too late. He’d rather not reveal the reasons behind why he was consoling that woman. He’d rather risk me being upset with him. He’d rather risk that secret driving a wedge between us than coming out and telling me who she was and what she means to him.
"Who was she, Declan? Can you tell me that, at least?"
"I can’t."
"Why was she crying?"
"That’s not my secret to share."
"I’m your girlfriend."
