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"Until next time, my dear. I promise we’ll meet again when I’m worthy of you. I’m going to make you so happy, my beloved." He blows me a kiss, then walks off into the apartment. A few seconds later I hear the rear door of the kitchen slide open, then his footsteps clatter down the fire exit.
I stay there, unable to move, unable to understand what just happened.He left? Just like that?And he didn’t touch me. A tear slides out- from the corner of my eye.I’m fine. I’m okay.Another tear squeezes out. I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat.I’m safe. I’m safe. Nothing happened. I’m safe.
I push myself up to my feet and sway. My head hurts. My forehead throbs. My shoulder protests. I spot the coffee table that leans drunkenly on its side, and my knees threaten to give out again.Oh, god; oh, my god.
He didn’t touch me, but the way he looked at me—as if he’d jerked himself off. The next time he sees me, he’s not going to let me off that easily.
My skin crawls. An itching sensation burns its way through my blood. I half-limp, half-stumble toward the bathroom, then head straight toward the shower cubicle.
I wrench the door open, almost fall inside, and turn on the shower. I flip the dial until the water is hot enough for steam to rise from it. I step under the stream and sink to the floor. I bring my legs up, wrap my arms about my calves, and bury my head between my knees.I’m okay, I’m okay.The water pours over me, but I can’t stop trembling.Why am I so cold? Why does it feel like I’ll never be able to wash off the dirty feeling that clings to me?Another shiver spirals through my blood.You’re okay. You will be okay. You’re—
"Abby! Sparrow, are you okay?"
32
Cade
I wrench the shower door open, then sink down next to her. "Abby, baby, look at me."
She doesn’t respond.
"Abby, sweetheart, please, tell me you’re okay."
She’s not okay. She can’t be okay if she has her arms about herself and is rocking back and forth.
"Abby, please—" I reach for her, but she shrinks away. My heart feels like it’s going to shatter into a million little pieces. My guts churn, and my eyes burn.
"Abby, I’m going to touch you now, baby, because I can’t not. I’m going to put my arms about you and pull you into my lap, okay?"
She stops rocking, so I know she heard me. I wrap my arm about her very gently. Her entire body freezes. I lift her up and into my lap. She makes a small sound of distress, and my throat closes. My chest hurts. She fights me half-heartedly, but I pull her into me. I fold both of my arms around her and hold her as close as I can.
That’s when I notice her shoulders shudder. Her teeth chatter. She buries her face in my chest, and her entire body heaves. The pressure builds behind my eyes. My chest is so heavy, it feels like there’s a truck parked on it. I tuck her head under my chin and hold her. The hot water continues to stream over both of us, and still, she continues to shiver. I rub slow circles over her back, then press a kiss into her wet hair.
"You take all the time you want, baby, I’m not going anywhere."
She begins to cry harder, and I hold her, rock her, and swallow down the fear that clogs my throat. "You’re okay, you’re going to be okay. I’m going to make sure you’re okay, you hear me?" I hold her until she stops shivering. Her sobs slow down to sniffles. When she seems to have calmed down, I reach up and behind us to turn off the shower.
"I’m going to carry you out, is that okay?"
She nods but doesn’t raise her head.
I rise to my feet and step out of the shower cubicle with her in my arms. I walk over to the bathtub, and try to lower her, but she refuses to let go.
"Sweetheart, I need to get you out of these wet clothes."
She only clings to me harder.
"Please, baby, I really do want to make sure you don’t catch a cold."
She sniffles. "That’s what you say. But I’m sure it’s all a ploy to get me naked."
I still, then half-laugh. "That’s me, baby. Always the asshole. And I won’t deny I love to see you naked. But this time, I promise, I won’t look. I’ll get you into dry clothes and I won’t even try to touch you."
She clears her throat. "That would be disappointing." She looks up at me, and everything stops. My blood freezes in my veins. My heart stops beating, then starts up again with a roar.
"Who did that to you?" I growl
She looks stricken, then looks away.
