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“I don’t know.” Was that enough? I wasn’t an expert in this situation. I was quick to consult the internet or his school counselor when I had questions.
“What does Brody want?”
“He’s used to his father being in and out of his life. He’s been in jail for a few months before, drug rehab even, but not a lengthy sentence.”
“If they link him to a string of burglaries, he’ll go away for a long time.
I wasn’t sure if he was responsible for all the burglaries in the area. He insisted he wasn’t, but it wouldn’t be a stretch for a judge to think he was. “I think I’m waiting for it to be official. If he’s sentenced to a long prison term, I’ll have to consider it.”
“Brody loves you. He’ll be happy to have you. Even if he doesn’t know why, you represent security.”
“I hope you’re right.” No matter how many times I stepped in to help, I was still insecure about my position in Brody’s life.
“You’re doing the right thing.”
“I love Brody. I’ll always be there for him.” I’d started a college fund for him when he was little. I gave him his first glove and ball. Whenever he needed me, I was there. But I couldn’t be there for him in the way I wanted when Austin was around. I couldn’t get him up for school when Austin didn’t. He was older now and more self-reliant. But he shouldn’t have to be at his age.
“You can do this.”
“I feel guilty because this is what I wanted. I wanted to give him a better life, but I didn’t want his father in prison.”
“It’s not your fault. Austin did this to himself.”
I tipped my bottle to my lips. “I keep telling myself that.”
“You’re not responsible for Austin,” Ethan said.
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
Ethan had a point. I quit baseball to help Austin with Brody. Looking back, I was always cleaning up his messes. Helping him in school, smoothing things over with his teachers. That might be why he never got himself together. I was always there. He didn’t have to worry about Brody because he knew I’d step in. Abby didn’t have that backup, and my heart ached for her.
I understood now why she’d left without giving me her information. She felt like she wasn’t free to pursue anything.
I got it, but I didn’t like it. I wondered if being forced to spend time together would trigger the lingering chemistry between us. Would she give us a second chance? I shouldn’t even care. My hands were full with my move, the new team, and helping Brody. I didn’t have time for anything or anyone else, especially a single mother.
“You need an assistant coach?” Ethan asked.
I nodded. “Maybe just for a few practices until some of the dads can step up.”
“I thought parents were quick to step up in travel to guarantee their kid a spot.”
I grimaced. “I don’t want that reputation. I want kids because they’re a good fit. Because they love baseball.”
Ethan examined me carefully. “You think you’ve got that with this team?”
“I hope so.” I didn’t want the kids to be competitive with each other. I wanted them to become friends, to gel together as a team. If they were worried about losing their position or being cut, it wouldn’t work. I wanted the kids to have a soft spot to land. Not another high-stakes competition. They came to this league for a different experience, and I wanted to give it to them. I was aware of how other teams operated. I wanted to be different. I wanted to give the kids skills for life that went far beyond sports.
When I played ball, my dad pushed me to be better while he let Austin fall to the wayside. He wasn’t as concerned with my grades or whether I was acting with integrity. Everything was baseball until I fell out of love with it. Until it felt like something I had to do. An obligation. I didn’t want that for Brody.
My parents had long ago washed their hands of Austin. It was why I felt like I had to step in when I did. I gave up my dream, but Austin—no, Brody needed me. My dad thought I’d made a big mistake, but I didn’t see it that way.
“I’m glad you moved here,” Ethan said, bringing me back to our conversation.
“I am too.” I rented a house and worked virtually, so it wasn’t a hardship. A part of me always knew it would come to that. That Austin would screw up so badly he’d never come back from it.
The black cloud over the situation was whether the other kids would blame Brody for his dad’s mistakes. If that happened, I might have to move us for his sake.
