Page 96 of Feel My Love


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“Maybe. But we’re talking about his son here.”

I ran my hand through my hair. “The one he left at home alone while he robbed stores.”

“He wasn’t the best parent, but maybe he’ll want to help if he sees how his actions are hurting Brody.”

“You might be right.” It was possible. Austin never cared about how his actions affected our parents or me. But maybe he had a soft spot for his son even if he wasn’t always there for him physically.

“It doesn’t hurt to try. You should talk to him before you go.”

I clenched my teeth. I hated the thought of seeing Austin in jail. “Brody said he wants to see him too. Will you go with me, so I can speak to him one on one?”

“Absolutely. I don’t want you to go, but you need to do what you think is best for you and Brody. Only you can decide that.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. This parenting thing doesn’t get easier, does it?”

He laughed. “Not at all. Have you thought about having kids of your own?”

“I have my hands full with Brody right now. I can’t even handle a relationship with a woman, much less adding to my family.” But the thought of having a baby with Abby caused everything in me to soften.

After how I talked to her on the phone the other night, I’d doubt she was even interested in talking. It was possible I triggered her with my talk of leaving. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Worst-case scenarios were swirling in my head.

Was it a bad idea to move away even if it was only for a few months to give things time to settle down? Or was I running away again?

Ethan asked if there was anyone worth staying for—and Abby and Hunter were worth fighting for. But what if staying was bad for Brody?

Thankfully, Ethan asked if I wanted to play video games. So I agreed, needing a few hours of mindless nothing. I didn’t know what to do about Abby, Hunter, and Brody. All of them needed me to make the right decision. Whatever I decided, I might hurt one of them. Hunter and Abby didn’t want to be left again. Brody didn’t want to be subjected to mean words and teasing.

I tried to push aside the anxiety, but it crept in.

Eventually, Ethan dropped his controller on the coffee table. “You’re not paying attention.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. “I hoped I could forget about everything for a couple of hours.”

“You can’t get it out of your mind.”

“Whatever I decide, someone’s going to be hurt.”

“What do you want to do? You quit baseball because Austin needed you. You moved because Brody needed you. What is it thatyouneed?”

I needed to feel safe and secure. I needed to stay in one place. “I don’t think I want to move. I like living in one place. I like the idea of permanency. I like the friends I’ve met here.” I loved Abby and Hunter.

“Then you have your answer. You stay here and make it work.”

“But at what cost? Brody getting teased at school. Feeling less than as I did because of Austin’s poor choices.”

“Hopefully, Austin’s case is wrapped up soon, and he’s sent away to prison farther away.”

Austin was only being held in the detention center pending trial, and I didn’t see how he escaped with a not guilty verdict.

“Who knows how long that will take. You know these things take time.”

“You get to decide how he affects you going forward. You are not Austin. You didn’t do anything wrong. If someone thinks you’re somehow to blame, then that’s on them.”

“That sounds fine for me, but I’m an adult. What about Brody?”

“Anything like this blows over. It doesn’t last forever. It’s not like Austin will be in town, drumming up drama forever. He’ll be gone. People will move on to something else, and with any luck, they’ll forget who Brody’s real father is because you’ll always be in his life.”

Goose bumps erupted over my skin. I liked the thought of being Brody’s dad or, at least, the guy in his life he could count on. “You really think people will move on?”

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