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Distance and disconnection from my mother.
One hyper-involved to the point that I’d known exactly which step I was expected to take.
The other running on constant autopilot.
I had the homemade dinners and the parent-teacher conferences. The dates shopping for prom dresses and now weekly coffee dates with my mom. I had the fresh-baked cookies and the yearly Christmas cards.
But the distance was always there.
Sometimes I understood why Jeff, my much older half-brother (and Bailey’s father) got the fuck out the moment he could, why his relationship with River’s Bend was filled with so much pull and retreat, so much upheaval that had scarred Bailey deep.
It wasthis.
The brusque and the disconnect.
The love, but almost as an afterthought.
I wasn’t complaining.
At least Ihadlove, had care, had safety and security.
I just wished…that things could be different. That they could have given me more.
Selfish much?
I swallowed that down, focused on my father before he lost his shit. “I was out all day, Dad,” I said, supplying him with the information. “I’m just here to change and meet up with Joel and then we’re going out for dinner before the results come in.”
“Dinner?”
I bit back a sigh. “Yeah, Dad. I need to eat, and Joel and I have a date scheduled.”
My mom blinked, chose that moment to tune in. “A date? You?”
That hurt. I couldn’t lie. “Yes, Mom. Surprisingly enough, even someone likemewill occasionally go on dates.”
“Oh.” She blinked again, a flash of emotion crossing over her familiar blue eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I just—” Here she faltered. Because shedidn’tmean it like that, wasn’t trying to be mean.
She was just doing Parent Speak.
Andmyparents’ Parent Speak edged toward critical.
Always.
“You’re just so busy,” she finished.
“Yeah,” I agreed. Not pushing it further, not engaging further. Down that path led disappointment.
“Who’s Joel?” my dad asked, eyes narrowing.
“Me.”
I jerked slightly when the man in question came close to me, wrapping an arm around my middle and tugging me back against his chest. A kiss to my temple. Soft words in my ear. “Hi, baby.”
He sounded tired.
I glanced up, saw the dark circles beneath his eyes.
Helookedtired too.
