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She’s dissociating, her panic attack hitting a breaking point that is causing her brain to switch off. Her body slumps toward the floor, but I keep her upright. “I’m gonna pick you up now, baby.”
She’s a rag doll as I scoop her up, but when she wraps her arms around my neck, my heart squeezes painfully like it’s wrapped in barbed wire. “Good girl, hold on to me just like that.” I press my nose against her hair and clutch her tightly as I carry her to my room. Her sandals slip off her dangling feet and clatter to the floor.
I set her up on my bathroom counter and step away ever so briefly to turn on the tub. I return and press a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, then each cheek, while I slowly coax her arms up and her shirt over her head. I unclasp her bra next, and then reach for the buttons of her jeans.
“Lift your hips for me,a chuisle.”She sets her arms over my shoulders for support as she raises her bottom off the counter, and I slide her jeans down her hips, taking her panties with them.
She sits before me naked, and fucking beautiful, and fucking heartbreaking. I have so many questions I want to demand she answer so I can find the motherfucker that hurt her, but instead I pick her back up and gently set her into the large tub. Warm water is filling it, and steam wraps around her silky body.
She draws her knees to her chest, and I ache for her to snap at me, make some smart-ass quip. Droplets of steam condense on her shoulders, and I want to bite the dewy flesh just so she’ll bite back. Seeing her drained of her fight is one of the most painful things I’ve ever witnessed.
I grab a cup from the counter and set it with the shampoo and body wash bottles on the stool next to the tub—the same brand from her apartment. I noted them when I did my little reconnaissance and had Donna pick them up. I strip out of my clothes and slip in behind her. Her body relaxes back into me, clogging my throat with relief. “Lean back, baby. I got you.” I wrap my arms around her soft stomach, and she eases her knees as flat as she can in the tub.
“I’m always going to catch you when you fall,” I whisper into her hair.
I hold her like this for a couple more minutes until the tub is full. Shutting off the faucet, we stay nuzzled together in the heat for a few shared breaths. I squirt some lavender body wash onto a loofah and am so relieved when her muscles continue to unwind as I drag the sudsy thing up and down her limbs.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“No.” It's a short, one-word response, but it’s thick with emotion.My girl is coming back to me.
“That’s okay.” I gather her hair at the base of her neck and dunk the cup into the water. “Tilt your head back, baby.” She follows directions beautifully, a soft sighing passing her lips as she closes her eyes and lets her head lull back. “Perfect.”You’re perfect,I want to say.
I pour water at her hairline, cupful by cupful, until her hair is soaked. Then I work shampoo gently into her scalp, my cock unhelpfully thickening when she lets out a sweet little moan. I massage my fingertips for what I’m sure is longer than necessary, but she seems so at peace by the ministrations, I can't bring myself to stop. I shift to rub circles along her temples, and the crease fixed between her brows melts away.
Eventually I move on, rinsing the shampoo before applying conditioner. Once I've worked it through her strands, she reaches back and twists her hair into a bun, securing it with an elastic from her wrist. With her hair out of the way, she leans back and rests her head in the nook between my shoulder and neck. A giant’s fist constricts around my lungs when she softly places a kiss on my hot, sweaty skin.
She has choked on my cock, let me smear my name on her chest with my cum, ground her sopping pussy on my tongue, and yet somehow, this one small kiss is more intimate than it all. There’s no spite, no angst. It’s not even lust. It’s gratitude.
And I feel supremely unworthy.
Maybe if I can gather up all her broken pieces and put them back together strong enough, it will also fix the shattered remains that litter my soul.
I finish bathing her as the water cools, then help her out of the tub, wrapping her in a fluffy towel. I carry her to my bed, pulling back the covers and set her on the sheets, her skin rosy and flushed from the bath water. The stretch marks sprawling over her hips and inner thighs were purple before, but are now a light pink. I toss the wet towel on the ground and stand at the foot of the bed, taking her in.
Her chest rises and falls at a steady, healthy pace. Drops of water hang off her eyelashes, and her round belly looks soft and kissable. So that’s exactly what I do.
I crawl onto the bed and start at her feet, kissing each toe, then the arch of her foot. I pepper kisses from her ankle to her knee and then up the squishy parts of her inner thighs, tracing my tongue along the flawless designs etched into her stretched skin.
So fucking gorgeous.It’s hard to breathe.
I drag my nose through the thicket of damp curls and press my lips into the crease of her thighs on either side. Her hips twitch at the ticklish spot, so I take a moment to hover there, letting my breath dance along her sensitive skin.
Her fingertips reach out to caress my shoulder and along the top of my hands as they snake up her sides. No words are exchanged, just synchronized breaths, and her small gasps at harmony with the silence.
I continue my path up her body, kissing every roll and soft mound. Each breast and nipple. The hollow of her throat, up to the tender spot behind her ear. My naked body hovers over hers, the heat between our bodies reaching out, drawing us together.
I give into its pull and fall to her side, wrapping her in my arms and tucking her into me. The curve of her ass slots against my dick and the cradle of my hips. I am content to hold her just like this, but she takes my hand and brings it between her legs.
Guiding my fingers with her own, she slides them along her slit and parts the lips of her pussy. She sucks in a sharp breath as my fingers drag over her clit. Of my own accord, I press down a touch firmer, and she arches back into me with a barely audible whimper.
“This what you want, baby?” I feel the shiver spread through her as I whisper into her ear.
Removing her hand from over mine, she winds it back and cups the back of my neck, pulling me closer. “Please.”And there it is again, that trust and gratitude seeped into her words that makes my stomach do flips.
I make slow and delicate strokes over and around her clit, her own juices making the movements glide smoothly. I stay nuzzled by her ear, telling her how beautiful she is, how stunning, how goddamn perfect, as her breathing becomes choppier the closer she gets. My cock hardens along her ass cheeks, and she rocks sweetly into it.
This is the closest thing to making love that I’ve ever done.
