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She prods me in between my shoulder blades. “Stand up straight, you don’t want to look like a hunchback in all your wedding photos, now do you?”
“Does he really not know? Or does he just not care?” I ask, my stomach churning.
“About what?”
“That I killed—” She claps her hand over my mouth.
“Men will forgive almost anything in the name of power. And you’ll be wise to remember just how powerful these men are. When it comes to the governor’s son, you know nothing. Do you understand me, Euphemia?” Her eyes that look just like mine implore me to fall in line through the mirror.
“Which one? My first fiancé or my second husband?” My head whips to the side, my cheek burning from her slap.
She purses her lips. “If you want to survive in this world, be sweet, smile, and when the time comes, spread your legs.” Why she bothers telling me this, I don’t know. I’ve already been here before, face down, ass up as Finn made me his wife. As transactional as that night was, it seems like a blessing compared to what I’m about to face.
She pats my shoulders and fluffs my veil, a sickly-sweet change in her voice. “You look beautiful, dear.”
I struggle to find my mask again. The meek compliance I used to wear so often it became a second skin is now difficult to summon. Finn saw me. Heard me. Maybe even loved me without it. And now, trying to shove it back down, my true self feels like carving myself in half. Before my mask was a comfort, a security. Now it’s just treachery.
“Take a minute. But not too long, everyone’s ready downstairs.” My mother gives my shoulder a squeeze and leaves the room.
I try not to let my mind wander to the message I left for Finn on my phone for the hundredth time in the last four days. Surely by now he must have found it. Which means if he found it, it wasn’t enough to make up for what I did. Or maybe he couldn’t get in touch withLes Arnaqueusesor—No, what’s done is done.
There’s a church full of people downstairs. Who are they? Does it matter? This wedding is happening, and innocuous details won’t change that.
I was a survivor long before I was a wife. I still am. The battle has changed, but I’m just as strong.
I take one long look in the mirror then head downstairs to the church foyer where my father is waiting. His black hair is slicked back, and his eyes are dark as coal. He offers me his elbow. “You look beautiful,principessa.” He calls me princess and painful images flood my mind of lazy mornings, soft sunlight and the warmth of Finn’s body wrapped around mine.
I wrap my arm around his, but I don’t give a fake smile. I’ll do my duty, but I won’t pretend my prison is a castle.
The organ music begins as we push through the double doors to the sanctuary. It’s a song that’s supposed to make your heart swell with romance and joy, and instead it feels like I’m leading my own funeral procession.
Seeing William at the end of the aisle makes my lungs collapse. It feels as if my head is being held under water. My pulse races at the similarities between him and Hudson until I’m dizzy. My body screams at me to retreat, my throat grows tight as if Hudson’s brutish hands are still clutching it. My father squeezes my hand on his arm to keep my stalling feet moving, to drag me toward a marriage I don’t want.
The people in the pews are faceless blurs. I don’t even recognize the priest. It feels like walking onto a staged movie set, cold, impersonal, a farce. The only real things are the bouquets of white roses at the end of each row, and somehow even those feel like part of a con.
My father unceremoniously passes me off to William, and his hands are just as sweaty as mine. His blue eyes bore into me with a dutiful chill. They may have been handsome if I didn’t have to fight for my life staring into an identical pair. A sour taste spills down my throat as the priest begins the ceremony, his words nothing but dry droning.
When it comes time to exchange rings, there is no ring bearer. He pulls them out of his coat pocket and my hand goes numb as he grasps mine in his. Cold bitterness slides over my shoulders and down my back. The priest begins mumbling the most bland, simplified vows and William parrots his words sentence by sentence. There’s nothing personal about them. Why even bother when all the promises tying this marriage together are inked in a contract by power-hungry, callous men. Not the two people standing at the altar.
Surprisingly, my hand doesn’t shake, but his does when he lifts mine and holds the ring at the tip of my finger. Perhaps my hand is steady because in this brief moment I’m no longer in this church, I’m in a limo with Finn and he’s telling me how proud he is of me.
William begins to slide the ring up my finger and someone screams. At first, I question if it was me, if I was finally snapping, but then more follow and commotion stirs.
The priest is yanked back and a sharp, silver blade presses against his throat, and Cash Fox’s wild grinning face appears over his shoulder. “Nobody moves or Father here gets a VIP meet and greet with that God he’s so fond of.” He looks to me with a wicked smile and quick wink. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Fox.”
The double doors at the back of the sanctuary swing open. “Did we already get to the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’part? Because I object on account that EuphemiaFoxis already married. To me.”
1.i feel everything—Amelia Moore |
2.Next—Shaker |
Chapter 23
Run
Finn
Thepastfourdayswere the longest of my life.1My lungs had to relearn how to breathe without her. My blood had to acclimate to constant boiling temperatures. And my rage, my blood thirst, has never had to wait so long to be sated. It took two days to finalize our plans and then two days of doing nothing but stewing, seething, dreaming of the ways I would like to torture everyone involved in making this wedding happen.
