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I look down at the water and my first tear falls at what I see. Candles floating in the pond in between the lilies, lighting up the water, with glowing reflections dancing on the ripples. My bottom lip trembles, and he reaches out to brush his thumb against it as if we are the only two people here. He tips my chin up with one hand while the other taps a gentle tattoo on my palm: water lily.
“Well,” Cash begins, “Let’s hope this is the last time we have to do this.” I snicker, but Finn cuts his brother a glare. “Alright, let’s get to it.”
To start the handfasting ceremony, Cash pulls out a green twisted cord and instructs us to take hold of each other’s right forearms. He has Finn hold one end of the cord and wraps the rest around our hands twice before handing me the other end. The entire process, Finn continues to rub light circles on the inside of my wrist.
“Finneas.” Cash nods to him, and he takes a wedding band from his pocket with his free left hand. My heart skips a beat as I hold out my left hand and he slides the ring to my first knuckle.
Finn licks his bottom lip and meets my eyes. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes but loving you was never one of them. I may not be a gentleman, but you are worthy of gentle love, and I vow to give you all you deserve and more.”
As he slips the ring down my finger, I struggle to see all the ugliness of our past as anything but gifts because they carved the path to this moment.
“I never wanted a gentleman. I only wanted you.” I give his forearm a squeeze, and the taut muscles flex under my hand as he squeezes me back.
My throat constricts and warmth blooms in my chest as Cash passes me Finn’s ring. As he holds out his left hand for me, my eyes dance over the fresh water lily tattoo now covering the back of it. I find our story to be much like the plant itself: incredibly resilient, still able to bloom even after the coldest winters.
My tongue twists around the emotion trapped in my throat, and I will my sunflower tears to wait until after my vows. “You’ve shown me the beauty in darkness, the strength in myself, and the perfection in ruin.”
As I glide the ring to the base of his finger, Cash pronounces, “By the power vested in me by Instant-Online-Ordination-dot-com, I now pronounce you husband and wife,again.”
Our friends and family clap, and Finn quietly clears his throat, giving Cash a nudging look. “Oh, right…you may kiss the bride!” Heat floods my cheeks as Finn dives a hand behind my neck and through my hair before dipping me low with a kiss that burns through my entire body.
Everyone roars in applause and cheers, and he pulls me back up but is in no rush to end it. I lean into him, feeling every layer of heartache, pain, trials, and tribulations it took to get here melt away.
In the time since we first stepped on this dock eleven years ago, we’ve spent so much time trying to find the razor fine line between love and hate, too stubborn and afraid to choose a side. When in reality, the line never existed. I’ve always been his and he’s always been mine.
1.Dandelions – slowed + reverb—Ruth B., slater |
