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I pull out my simple pink silk shirt and shorts set that I wear every night. Something comfortable is right up my alley. I slip it on and stare at myself in the mirror, trying to calm my racing heart. This is it. Matteo and I are actually going to sleep next to each other. That’s it. And yet, I’m nervous and sweating. He promised he wouldn’t try anything. A blank slate and all that. I want to believe it, yet he’s not the one who has to put aside the fact that I was assaulted last night. I can’t just forget that fact. I’m trying to. I want to. I’d give anything to forget. But the memory struggles to leave my mind.
Finally, I step into the room, immediately noticing Matteo sitting on the bed in nothing but sweatpants. His bare chest is on display. I’ve never seen so much of him—let alone any man. God, it’s intimidating. He’s all muscles and broad shoulders and dusting of hair that makes him look more masculine. Fine, I’ll admit it. Matteo is handsome. But I’m also thinking of how easily he could overpower me with his body. Years of dance havegiven me muscles, but Matteo could take me in a heartbeat. I hate the feeling of being helpless. I never want to feel that way again.
Matteo looks over at me as I stand in the bathroom doorway. The way he rakes his eyes over me makes me feel like I’m naked. “Are you going to stand there all night?”
His words make me jump. “I was considering it.”
“You can join me, you know. I won't bite.” He smirks like he wants to say more but doesn’t.
I huff. “You say that and wonder why I’m nervous around you.”
His eyes soften. “Adelina, I promise I won’t try anything. You have my word.”
Slowly, I approach the bed, stopping when I’m next to. “You scare me,” I blurt out.
“I don’t mean to.”
I wave a hand at his bare chest. “Just … all of that. You’re so strong. You could do anything to me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop you. I’m struggling to trust because of that.”
He sighs deeply. “All I can do is keep to my side of the bed and show you that you can trust me. But you need to take that next step. I can’t do it for you.”
He has a point. He can only do so much to show me that I can trust him. I have to meet him halfway if our marriage has any chance of surviving.
“Ok,” I whisper, slipping into bed and pulling the covers up around me. I lay there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. “So … now, what?”
“Now we go to bed, I guess.”
“I’m not really tired just yet.”
“There are things we could do to make you tired.”
I shoot him a look. “Not sex.”
He smiles cheekily. “I didn’t mean sex. We could talk some more. Maybe the less we feel like strangers, the more receptive you’ll be to our relationship.”
“Ok. What do we want to talk about? We’ve already shared our childhoods with each other. What more else is there to say?”
He turns on his side to look at me, and my eyes notice how his muscles flex as he moves. A sudden pulse shoots between my legs. God, why am I feeling like this? I blame it on the fact that it’s primal. Matteo is handsome. Nothing more.
“There’s a lot more to say,” he says. “Like … what’s your favorite color?”
The question makes me laugh. “That’s your question? What’s my favorite color?”
“Hey, it’s a good question. You can learn a lot about someone from their favorite color.”
I quiet my giggles as I respond. “Ok, fair enough. Uh, pink and white are my favorite colors.” He motions his hand for me to continue. “They’re soft colors. They make me feel comforted. Safe. What about you?”
“I love red.”
“No surprising,” I say before I can stop myself.
“How is that surprising?”
“Red is a passionate color. You’re a passionate man.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “Passionate, huh?”
I roll my eyes in a teasing manner. “You stormed into my life like you were covered in fire. So different from my quiet, solitary life.”
